to those that have been following, we'll have another round at clearing up the myths from the truths. Vampires are awesome! They are beautiful and not always graceful as one would expect, if you consider numerous broken bones as "grace." It is difficult to walk in my shoes. It is even more difficult to lie still as they say, but I accomplish these tasks with the ease of a cat!
Grace is a perception. I am a squat, fat and happy gal. I kept hidden a dark secret for many years and have taken upon the task of sharing for the sake of. Being a freak of sorts was never the secret I kept but rather the reason for the secrets. I only found out recently how "bad" a freak I am. I have always been accused of not watching where I was going. It wasn't that I couldn't or didn't, just exactly the opposite! But I never "mummed" a word to the pain I felt. Our grace stems from the stoic face we keep in the forefront while biting back the tears that would befall the strongest of men. I suffer breaks of the bone sort daily. It is biologically a side affect from avoiding the sun. Your body cannot manufacture vitamin D without sunlight and the meager amounts that foods have provided have never restocked my stores. I was losing calcium and magnesium and copper and manganese and all trace minerals and metals that hold my bones together. I didn't know this. As I was living within the parameters of my genetics it was also crippling me. No one knew. I don't blame any one person for not knowing, but I do hold a sense of reserved ill thought for the family that wouldn't listen and the medical world for their discrimination and ignorance. I won't go so far as to say that my weight is due completely to my "disorder" but I can attribute more than half of it to it and the side effects of it. This "edema" allowed doctors to excuse my breaks and such as the bearing of the weight down on my frame. The problem with that was it is all cyclically related. As the blood is poisoned and the liver is working overtime to filter it, the body goes through constant inflammatory response signals. I am swollen, bloated, with an enlarged liver and weak bones. Over the years I was eating less and less, as I could not digest human foods, and my body was getting bigger and bigger. I grew to accepting it but never accepting the reasons given me or the accusations that I was in denial about my daily intake of calories and such! I was told to drink more and eat less sugar and kept getting sicker. The truth is I needed sugar more than most and I drink more than most despite avoiding that which I needed, taking the prescribed advice but never completely "buying" into it as my heart and head knew better!
So to some extent I have become cautious and graceful in my steps as I calculate every single one and take my time. Even with leg bones and feet bones broken I could still sneak up on a coyote in the woods close enough to touch. (not that the breaks were limited to the ambulatory appendages-ever hear your ribs break in your sleep for now reason just from breathing?) Ever watch a pregnant lady sit and get up? Now picture that scene much slower as if she was a pregnant eighty-year old sage of insurmountable weight. I am the epitome of grace in all I do and even in thought, so, yes, we are a graceful lot. I do not whimper or wince or cry or moan for the ache of, as these things will not ease the discomfort. I bear it. I grin and bear it as it is a part of me and I am thankful for every day whether I feel they are slipping away too fast or not. Less than a year ago I was bound 75% of the time to a wheelchair and/or cane or stick. I have no need for them now as science has caught up with my intellect and afforded me the option to take enough supplement to kill a bull elephant! I have to get the "D" by prescription as they need to be under lock and key. Not so monster after all if they give me medicine that could kill a healthy adult and trust me to not be so wicked!? (chuckles) Tired as I may be, I walk on two's now not three's or four's anymore, and I do so slowly with a fat-cat-like grace!~mobe's love to all and her all to her loves! ***you know the routine-to be continued...
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