Old people!

curious title for some...It has come to my attention on more than one occasion that old people suck! It isn't an opinion of mine but rather that of my kid and her peers. When I was her age I was mesmerised by grandmothers and grandfathers tales of desperation and tribulation. I sat at their feet and watched the women weave and crochet and the men argue politics and sports and would sneak downstairs to watch them play cards in the dining room. My mom and dad, when they were together, would play cards with them and always stood out to me with their brown and blonde colorful coifs amidst the sea of blue.

My parents looked so out of place then and to me they were the king and queen regardless of how much I feared them or loathed them. The older generation in the parlor and dining room with them always seemed to me like the "passing" of them and/or the "elders" who gave console to the king and queen in their castle, always guiding them in their ventures but never as regal as the virile youth of the 30-40 something generation! So how did that generation, my generation, become the "old people" of today? Since when did I become this decrepit senile witch with no intellect or youth and vigor?

One of my closest friends and I share the same year and are barely two months apart in age, he the senior. His birthday is today and is always easy to remember for it is a week exactly before Halloween. I, on the other hand, will be thirty-nine come ten days before Christmas, which should be easy enough to remember. He is old now. He complains about being old now whereas I chide and kid about my age. But now I'm beginning to worry as I have little more than one year to enjoy my own vim and virility. At forty, one is considered ancient and, of course, all knowing my predicament I am thankful for every day past thirty! As we speak my time is ticking and there are four-hundred sixteen days left of my youth! >ACK!<

I must admit I am a tired wench sometimes but I don't feel old nor do I look old. This terrifies me just like when I was ten and was waiting for the breast fairy to come and give me the "goodies" she bestowed upon my sister the year before. I was robbed! She forgot me and I had to wait a whole six years and then (POW!) she blew up my chest cavity to an unbelievable enormity that my senior year was never quite the same! Junior summer a pirate's dream; senior fall two zeppelins at war! What if my aging process will be the same? What if I wake up on December 15th, in the year of your lord 2011, and I am suddenly this cheap cinematic movie macabre mummy all wrinkly and old and dusty and smelling of mothballs and liniment?? Don't worry, my pets, I keep a good supply of sleeping meds on hand for just an occasion! I would never subject my loved ones to that sight!!!!

So here I am dreading the next 400 days and fretting, trying to find things to do on my bucket-list now. My kid is getting a real kick out of this and even jests about "never leaving" me because who will look after me when I'm old?!? She thinks I'm almost there now and has to repeat my words to me as if she thinks I don't know what I'm saying and needs clarity in the form of a fourteen year old twit inflecting my own vernacular back at me as if the pronunciation altered will make a difference to the instruction given her!(kids!)

Time after time I have wondered about the future and this year will be different. This is my end-life crisis and I want to drink and party and go out with a bang! I won't be tied to diapers and specs and liniments!! I want to dress like I tell her NOT TO and hang out with a bad crowd and maybe even see if I can finally get to see what the inside of a jail cell looks like-don't worry I was thinking of more like seducing a cop and he gives me a tour than getting incarcerated! I am not going down without a fight! I want my sexy face everywhere and my big sexy fat ass and gorgeous rack too! I don't want people to forget how beautiful I was and maybe they'll forgive a hundred wrinkles or so in a year! ~mobe's love to you all and her all to her loves!