if one's hands are tied so tightly and bound to their side so as to make it improbable to escape and given the task of doing cartwheels, to what end will the torture begin and end. I have watched hysterically as my pets and wildlife at home behave to the justification of nothing more than to exist and feel good. They don't fret over doctors or lawyers or who said what and when it was said and rarely have I witnessed the "cat's" version of a divorce squabble that would be equivocal of the ones I have.
So how does divorce come into my individuality? You can ask that but a more precise question would be to ask what it has to do with my heritage or species as this particular subject is an unfolding of all that is well or not well as I inhumanly exist. The answer is simple. Though I may be inhuman to you all and Lobo may be as well, you need to keep in mind that I come from human stock and on her father's part so does she. This binds me to the laws of man and the laws of humankind. In my world I would not a second's haste make secreted with myself and child and live off the land in the darkness and height to which we require and never look back or worry about a fucking phone, television or computer! But this is not my world and we are the minority and your kind have made it abundantly clear that we can share it so long as we share under your rule! I am no longer in the company of my child's sire so I am compelled to accept and live within the boundaries of my prison that is custody and divorce law. Fun fun fun, kiddies!
Now it has been some fifteen years past and she is older and wiser and he is as well as I am. He is blind, by his own choice for the knowledge was given in good faith, and doesn't want to see for fear if he opens his eyes he will be forced to admit, under penalty of knowledgeable faction, that what he sees is real and tangible and, therefore, requires immediate action! It was June of last year, 2010, when I found out she was much more in common with her silly mother than we first thought. The suspicion was there but her father has been absent for the most part through the whole ordeal and last fifteen years, while never taking full advantage of the time allowed him, and finds my "tall" tale of my heritage too outstanding to believe. And once it was known to him, last June, that his second child (first and only with me) was not quite human, all hell broke loose. Medical insurance was denied and closed by he and his spouse. He was compelled to replace it by law taking up to six months to do so and then, finding me in the sad state of affairs I have been in financially due to the ever increasing medical costs and surmounting debt, he refused to pay the co-payment so that she could get the treatment she needs. I feel bound and tied and bagged and gagged and buried alive! I want to be the best mom I can be and am a good one but this one act of forced "blindness" has created my biggest obstacle yet. It is not enough that medical doctors and psychiatrists and a close circle of friends believe. But the caregivers of the children in situations like mine need the education. Even romantically acquainted individuals find my story fabulous but unbelievable and most of them have even remarked so. It hurts, yes indeed, as I fight again with everything I have left to fight with for what my kid needs. After begging and reducing myself to levels I would never want to see her in, the agreement was struck, considering he was supposed to pay half of all outstanding medical costs after the insurance over the course of the last fifteen years and he hadn't, and he knows my genuine knack for keeping every little receipt and scrap of paper even if they aren't in order, he finally agreed that it was his turn to aide me and his child in our time of need!
What a surprise to find he wouldn't make good on that agreement. Why would I believe he would when he couldn't make good on vows before his own god that I would have kept if not for the safety of our child when I fled? He still doesn't want to know. He still doesn't believe and yet he witnesses the torment that I undergo each and every day to fight to stay alive (for what I am still at a loss for excepting love, family, friends) and he would doom his OWN progeny to follow in the legacy of pain that her mother won't survive. I don't mind knowing I will not live as long as you. I don't mind knowing my end will not be without tremendous pain that most men wouldn't bear. I DO MIND that a child could be spared this legacy and that ignorant fools exist merely for the pure pleasure of becoming the obstacles of disdain to the ones they claim to love! I have to go out in the daylight, and seek a lawyer and aide and medical assistance for a genetic disorder that is defined by darkness and the irony is lost on the ignorant souls that cannot conceptualize how fucking crazy that sounds! I give up where her sire is concerned. I don't really fight all too much nor do I yield either. He can threat and throw whatever insults and accusations he will at me. In the end I know he cannot take care of this child a quarter as well as I have, and she is most capable at this point of doing it herself, again accepting the business and social aspects of her care. I grovel without the allowance of bowing my head. I plead without the allowance of a sweet surrender and I fight without the allowance of mercy. "You may have not known the creature to which you actually married; you may not have known what it would entail. But you do know now and it wouldn't bode well for your own personal specimen of the human race to stand in the way of a mother and her pup!"...a fight he wants, a fight he gets! Only now I know who I am and what I am and I am no longer the meek and subservient wife he thought he had moulded. I am WAMPHYRI and you will NOT tread on me or mine! Game on-bring it! My daughter will get treatment if I have to beg, borrow, steal or maim to get it for her. I will not fail mine as mine have failed me, and anyone who will put asunder between me and my girl will not only unleash an ill from Pandora's box that will bring on the fear in the heart of a cold man, they will unleash a hatred so pure that it will consume everything in its wake without guilt or survivor save one, the child. This I vow.~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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