Happy birthday to a mother dear not there and far away~Happy birthday to one who didn't want me here and tried to fix in her own way
Happy birthday to a woman who was cruel for when I got a "B"~ I earned a black and blue on every place you could reach
When no one looked or was around~I thank you kindly for beating me down
The darkest closet wouldn't break my soul~And the fear you tried could not take hold
Happy moment for the bitter hate~All the frustration bearing on your gate
Hell has a place for the sinners on earth~Happy birthday with a smile of mirth
I could not would not please you so~So fucking unwanted and made your foe
How a child born to hurt could still hold head proud~And scream from a distance "Happy Birthday" aloud
I have a scar I see everyday~Upon silver backed glass my face does say
Great thank yous for the reminders of how not to be~On the torn and scarred lip that you gave me at three
I'm all grown up and the pain is long past~When my precious angel does wrong I'm stead fast
With curt words and a pause that calms an angry heart~Before I discipline and shred her apart
What a day you have before you all alone and sick~With a heart that's dying fast and barely able to tick
Do you think of all your choices and the tortures that you made~Are you pissed your P.O.M.* survived your vengeful tirade
I don't know what you wanted though I still do think on it~And I ponder what a baby child could have done when I sit
To make you oh so angry enough to raise a hand~A board, a belt, a fist, a knife, whatever that you can
And I want you to know this early morning on your very special day~It only took me nearly forty years to figure with dismay
That I only cried in agony and not to make you feel~Like a wretched failure of a mother with an under appreciative little eel
My once loyal loving thoughts were dried up with my tears~Each and every single time I shed them through the years
There will be no call or card this day to let you know I care~My heart had freed up long deadened space for those that need it there
...For those not in the know that read I am the little eel~A title given by mother's mouth and meant to make me feel
Like I had failed her some way some how in all I was as born~A title given to her babe all full of loving scorn
And P.O.M. I spent four decades counting time in womb~On your sixtieth birthday I am freed from your hateful tomb
No more a "Prisoner Of Mom"* to cry alone on darkest nights~Without a candle's glowing flame I salute you free of light
A creature born of mortal woman and cursed to wake at dusk~Your not human child you gave to the world felt fit to remember you thus
Happy birthday yes indeed you got your magic wish~And drove away the four good things and emptied up the dish
Of accomplishments and legacies you would have had been diff~I send to you my happy thoughts as your last one lonely gift
...there isn't more loving a daughter who was ever as loyal as I was for so many years. Always trying to please her and everyone and everything. It sounds so surreal to me when I hear myself say truthfully how honest and obedient I was. It wasn't difficult as I had no choice, for the only option besides compliance was the threat of death. I was drowned and stabbed and beat and neglected and starved as a punishment for being born. I still today have issues with hearing a child cry because I was taught not to do so on penalty or capital punishment. I think on the veterans and the abused children and any Prisoner Of Hate and how we all share some sick and twisted cosmic fate. I still love the bitch and am thankful for being born no matter the circumstances. My birth allowed me to bring forth a beautiful baby Wamphyri, a new born who was accepted and understood far beyond what mortal human stain can fathom. For that I am still loyal to the bloodlines that she gave me, nothing more. I am no longer angry or ashamed or even sad. I have my answers and can focus on what's left of what I have. My Lobo and my four-legged(s) that are loyal and loving to a fault. I discipline and even have raised a hand or two but never when I was a menacing angry brawler. I miss the mom I never had~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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