When it Hurts

there are things beyond our control which lead us to understanding or further into the abyss that is ignorance. This is intended to open the eyes of all, man and woman, to let them see what they are doing to each other and what they mean to each other. Life is precious, and not just your own I might add.

When it hurts to say I love you because the words feel so little to what one feels. But then other words are just too damn much when we don't agree. There never is and never will be a reason for the physical side of confrontations but what of the other sides? A person can be controlled just for the simple fact that they care enough to do nothing when oppressed while thinking they are capable of "healing" or "fixing" what ails the other. I have suffered at the hands of physical abuse and mental abuse but there are still yet other forms. A person can control the finances in such an absolute manner that creates economical abuse.(much in the same way corporations do it but it feels tantamount to rape when they pilfer retirement funds and so on). There is the abuse of academics when a parent or child or spouse refuses to allow any new knowledge to be attainable to their "target" for fear that the oppressed will rise up against them and see them for what they are. There is familial abuse which branches off from social abuse, when you are not allowed family and friends and the whole of the situation is is manipulated by the person you cling to. Funny how we cling to the person who hurts us the most because we are so afraid to admit our own failure in the relationships that we broke before we even entered them. Isolation is cruel when a person doesn't want to be. Intimidation and threats are only there to feed the addiction of the abuser and feed their own insecurities and reinforce their already warped view on the dynamic of the relationship. Tangibles abuse is to hold possessions and children and pets as hostage to bend a person to comply with one's will. I see this daily.

I am speaking on this because each and every one of you have suffered at one time or another even if you do not realize it. People are cruel to one another and nobody can convince me otherwise when I see the tears fall all the time everywhere I go. In the workplace when a boss verbally abuses an employee or customer. At the mall when a boyfriend or girlfriend will push or scorn the significant other or shame them publicly to prove a point. The insults and names and curses. Bullies and kids. Old men who bark and growl and subdue their wives and shrews of wives who long gave up and want to punish their hubbies because they may not have measured up to the fantasy that the wife once held. There are no princes and princesses in real life, kids. Only imperfect people trying to attain comforts and some sort of imagined perfection. It doesn't matter who you are and how well you complete a task, you still can fall short of a goal so long as one person wants to prevent you and you make the conscious decision to allow your will to be bent to another. This is not to say or give license to individuals to walk around with a chip-I do that sometimes-expecting the absolute worst and yielding nothing. I have a hard time with accepting gifts and compliments to this day for fear that they always come with strings attached, and those strings always mean I will pay more in the end.

When it Hurts
When it hurts I will cry inside though nary a tear will fall
When it hurts because you don't see the writing on the wall
When it hurts because if you do you care not for how I feel
When it hurts because I cared more for you in this cyclic wheel

When it hurts and I cannot bear no more
When it hurts and I want to leave out the door
When it hurts and my legs won't let me go
When it hurts for the pain I have is the pain they bestow

When it hurts each and every slap
When it hurts and you mock and clap
When it hurts to be taunted and teased
When it hurts despite no matter the pleas

When it hurts beyond comprehension to you
When it hurts and I still won't do it too
When it hurts because you know it's at end
When it hurts because this is all the "love" you send

When it hurts and I am no longer my self
When it hurts so bad that I start to yell
Then it has hurt more than this relationship can bear
And I will hurt once more, for some time, when I leave you alone there.

Be good to one another and harm none as you would not want done to you. Don't hold another accountable for the sins of the previous hurt. Don't punish unjustly. Wait until the anger has passed to collect your thoughts before you take any action. Think on things in the reverse as if the shoe was on the other foot. All these things we know and were taught and are written in every single bible and theological handbook on how to be towards one another. No one religion comes without their own wording of how to behave to all peoples around you. I hurt every time I see the fear in the eyes of the oppressed and the twisted thoughts of the oppressor who feels they are just. I have made my own mistakes and bad choices and will still make some more before I am through. But I try to not hurt or be malicious when I interact with adults and children and family and friends. Tolerance is the ability to not agree but respect and yield a little on both ends without anger or confrontation. Have some, have a heaping helping because the world is a sickly, cruel, cold and disgusting place without it.~ mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.