Just Listen

turn off the lights. Turn off the sounds. Leave only one candle burning and grab a blankie and listen closely to what I am about to tell you. People don't listen often enough and it sparks me as sad and definitely not to their credit.

For one thing, we are hateful to one another and without provocation. We step on each other day after day and eventually it was bound to come to this. Someone had to grab you all by the ears, just like grandma had done, and set you straight. Today I feel that responsibility falls to me for I see things more of a black and white nature than most of you. I have too much idle time on my hands and have observed your kind for centuries and see the discrepancies in your communities. I will now share with you what I have learned as well as any recommendations I have come up with along the way if I have any.

When you see a person of a significant difference of appearance than you, you need to be aware that it is never socially acceptable to comment on their qualities BY insulting their flaws. The word "but" should be removed from the vocabulary of most of you as you have abused its intent time and again.: "Oh you are such a lovely creature and have such beautiful skin, but if you only would lose a few pounds you'd be perfect!"...the travesty and the torment you bring down upon each others' heads is holding you back from achieving anything worthwhile in your wake. I love the bosses that critique your work in the new methods taught by the "team oriented" world today. Team oriented is only meant to suggest you have even less say than you did before and that to rock the boat paints a beautiful red and white target on your back as you will be the first asshole shown the door and in the unemployment line. The team never works for the betterment of anyone except the company as they use the team dynamic to spread seeds of disdain and make you suffer collectively so that you will generate new innovative ideas under duress and your "teammates" will steal them for favor and reward from the almighty bosses! You guys are blind to this and think it is healthy but the duress is unnecessary. There are no free imagination processes occurring here. Invention is created by design and necessity but there needs to be boundaries and those boundaries need to be broken, not shattered, to make the achievement worthwhile. Countries and ideas were made from breaking rules. This forsaken country was founded on the principle take and break!

I am so sick of watching the people get dumber and dumber and lazier and lazier. I would run circles had I the legs and still am most independent for someone of my predicament. I love people who think they know my genetics better than I do. I even love people who will decide for my kid what's best for her when it was me alone, yes alone as her father has chosen to be absent 95% of the time, who looked after her well-being. The same people who tell me I am too strict and she needs to "experience" life for herself who let their own kids experience it by burning the fucking house down because he trusts them more than he thinks I trust mine. Trust doesn't even come into it! It is my RESPONSIBILITY to NOT trust them and by doing so keep them safe. They don't understand trust yet, as they cannot be taught this by someone who doesn't themselves trust. I have been told I don't trust but I trust far more than most of you that the world will purge herself of all the ills of your likes as she has done so many times before. I know a man who trusted his parents, the very same alcoholics that made him what he is, a drop-out with no education who lives with his mama and papa and spends all his money talking and drinking instead of making himself a better man and contributing to society. He trusted that they were perfect babysitters to his little precious girl and found one day she was gone! Not just gone but kidnapped while they were home passed out and raped and beaten and buried alive not 500 yards from the house where she slept. And all on a school night while he was out at the bar with his girlfriend and the kid's mother lived some 1000 miles away! A school night! Parents should be home with their children keeping vigil that the "fox" doesn't sneak into the coop while you are away! People were awash with fear and loathing for the vermin that did it and I was awash with pity as I had nothing to fear. A duck is a duck and he, the criminal, even told the jailers that let him out he will commit crimes of that nature again because he didn't feel rehabilitated and didn't think he was strong enough to withstand the urge. An alligator will bite no matter how hard you teach it not to, so will a pitbull. He was let out of jail and led a pretty low key life for a few months and saw this opportunity he couldn't pass up. He had more remorse for his actions than the community that failed that girl did for their part in it. He genuinely wanted to get better and instead the system let him down as well as Jennifer and "set them up" for failure.

Why would I identify with him? Because my kid paid a price for what he did and how he did it. She paid by having a good momma who used that incident to lecture her and teach her the way and reason she is treated as she is. It bound us tighter together and made her appreciate me more and the sacrifices I made. It reinforced her as a parent for the future and let her know she mattered more to me than a boyfriend or a date. That father made a big deal and got some notoriety in the deals he made but he is still an uneducated shit of a man who I wouldn't let watch my dog. Society expects so much out of people unable to do it yet gives so little. I would be perfect had I not the big ass and loud mouth I have. I would be beautiful to my ex husband if I "knew my role" as he defined it. I am a strict momma who has her kid and she is not the little whore and pig some of the children today are encouraged to be. The monsters are not the other people they are YOU and the choices you make. I am a monster to my kid when she doesn't get her own way but I would rather be the monster that doesn't let her go over "Sally sleeps around alot's" house than the "angelic example of motherhood" that condones all ill behaviors and blames the world for what I beget! Imagine living in that town and your kid is a close resemblance to that poor little tortured missing creature. Imagine people, strangers, coming up to your kid and questioning her without your consent and insisting to her she is who she's not! I feel for the loss of her but know she was not looked after properly so a higher power brought her "home." I break many rules in parenting and societal norms. But I have a little girl growing up who I tuck in every night who is safe and respects herself and loves me even when I busted her ass a time or two.

What you do and what you say matters people. It mattered that this guy warned the people rehabilitating him that let him out due to overcrowding. It mattered to that little girl too. It matters to me when I work a job that I have to "prove" I am worthy based upon the fact that I am fat and no one else is asked to prove their competence.(as if fatness equals stupidity or skinny means competence and intelligence) It matters what I say to you right now and what it means to you and I won't ask you to live your life in total darkness anymore than for you to insist I live mine with her by the light of day. It matters that I want her to succeed in life enough to sacrifice my needs for hers. You are not there to be their team mate or best friend. They will choose their own in time when they are older. Be kind and stop expecting a fat chick to prove herself capable when she can do more than you to begin with. Stop punishing a paralyzed man for not having feet and a person with a big ass for not fitting in a chair on a plane. Start pulling the planks out of your own eyes before telling someone else of their own splinters...and before you tell me that is exactly what I am doing, understand I have earned the right because I am ALWAYS bettering myself for my kid and myself and society. I have plenty of time to see what you are all blind to, so wake up and take count!~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.