Justification

so the meek shall inherit the earth and inherit it they have. In the name of their fathers and sons and mothers and daughters, only they have abused that privilege and it is getting increasingly difficult to hold back the disdain for all things ignorant!

Today was Lobo's first day with her new Pediatric Hematologist/Oncologist:
                  THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE:

1. "I have no idea what to do here.."

2. "You are the first patient I am treating for this, so let's see where this goes..."

3. " I don't have a clue so why don't YOU tell me how to handle this..."

incompetence is everywhere people and don't think for one second that just because someone has a license to practice medicine that they know squat! The two most expensive and educationally required occupations are called "practices" for a reason: Law and Medicine!

I may not have a doctorate or a masters in medicine or law but I have done better with better results than a whole fucking community of legal authorities and practitioners. Legally speaking, I have been married three times and divorced two and a half (still in separation mode and working on the last amicably with him-we're still friends) and never shelled one thin dime towards an attorney and have gotten better results than I had I retained one. And I am called a "lay" person because my mommy and daddy didn't suck the dick of some dean and alumni collegiate to push me into the finer schools! Does this make me incompetent? How many lawyers can state they have a 100% perfect record at "wins"???

As for the medical fields...my record again is impeccable. I have diagnosed friends and even saved a few strangers lives without charging a damn penny. I remember this one guy from a McDonald's that used to sit across from me and he was very sickly and told me about all the trouble his doctors had with his diagnosis. I was nineteen and he was in his fifties. I looked at him and told him he had colon cancer. He was shocked and I was a little taken aback but I was so sure, and a month later after prodding them they gave him his diagnosis: colon cancer. It added up...he couldn't eat, was losing weight faster than a punctured kickball and hadn't had a bowel movement in months. DUH! Then the stupid doctors told him he needed to be "cleaned out" before the operation and the medicine they gave him wouldn't work so they had to reschedule his emergency surgery three times. I wrote him a note with directions for a health foods store and instructions for the things he needed to purchase and within 48hrs he was "cleaned" and had his surgery. I didn't see him for over a month. We all thought the guy was a vagrant because of the bicycle he rode and the clothes he wore. He lived near me and I worked around the corner from the restaurant so us meeting up there was frequent and everyone that worked there knew us as regulars. We used to talk about the banal things like weather and politics and make fun of the employees together over coffee. After the month passed this vibrant and healthy man who resembled my old friend was waiting for me there everyday for a week and he had an expensive car and flowers (fresh everyday I was told) and proposed to me. You see, he had a son. One son. He was married and she died and his kid was being raised by his sister and he was partially mentally ill from a trauma but had all his faculties. He couldn't drive and had a friend drive him there in his car. The man was filthy rich and felt he was indebted to me for saving his live and subsequently his kid's daddy. I cried. He had everything all worked out. He even told me he didn't want his "angel" to work and that it was ok if I wasn't romantic with him. He wanted to take care of me. I wasn't raised to be a kept woman, even if I deserved it or the intentions were noble. I politely told him to take care of himself and walked away having my reward already, knowing again, I was right. He was going to leave me everything of half his estate, the other half going to his eight year old kid. He died ten years later and was worth well over a million dollars. He left my half to science in an "angel" foundation to finding cures for the obscure. His son was proud the day he buried his dad and to this day wonders who that angel was that his father talked about so frequently. He never died of cancer. He died in a horrible bicycle accident. He had reflectors and flags and such but still dressed meekly and someone on a joy ride thought it would be fun to kill a "bag person" or so they thought. I cried again.

I still cry. I cry when I have to do the work of hundreds of so called "learned" individuals who think they are god and above all others because they could afford to spend money to showcase their intellect. I am a brilliant  and eccentric and miserable wretch. I toot my horn not because I am a blow-hard but because I am tired of waiting for others to do it for me and even more inappropriate-others taking credit for it! Today my daughter's pediatric hema/onco was flabbergasted that she had inherited Lobo for treatment and assessment and such for her EPP. More annoying was the fact that she seemed "put out" by the fact that I knew more about the disease than she, oh it gets worse, and that there is really nothing wrong in my eyes with us other than that we are genetically superior and are asked to lower OUR standards to living like the rest of the poor helpless and ignorant sheep we call "cousins." Am I pissed?!? You betcha! Who wouldn't be with this? So tell me this...is there any justification in who I am and what I have accomplished? Does it matter? I am not a god fearing woman and I know that whatever the fates have in store for me in front on my godS will be because it already is, time is after all, irrelevant. I am no god or deity. I am a simple creature with basic needs of one which is to live as I am designed. I don't want to be as you are any more than you should want to be me. My life is no walk in the park and neither is yours so let's call it a "pass" and move on. But why can't we live together and be respectful? Is that too much to ask? I already have proven my worth to myself and what matters to me now let me be.~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.