Another Wrinkle In...

time is important to everyone, especially their own. But some people feel that other's time is not as important and see no need to be courteous or proper when wasting another's time. It is damaging and affects more than themselves and the person they take advantage of. It affects a person's worth and esteem.

I try to be effective and not waste other's time unjustly. It is part of that side of me that I hate and love for the same reasons. I love to care about people and I chastise myself constantly for doing so because it would seem I am the last person anyone wants to be considerate of. I feel that I am burdensome or that others are so short-sighted and unable to see or comprehend how the world does NOT evolve around them alone. For that reason alone I acquiesce to a time unto myself where I am alone with my thoughts and filled with this disdain for all things living and dead and seem to find a happiness within the dark that is me. I am complete. And I am completely imperfect and though I quest to be as such I accept it merely a journey and not necessarily a begin-all/end-all to my existence. I waste my own time.

I am even accused of wasting others' time and maybe they're right. But I do so willingly and consciously knowing I am doing it. In a way it is a form of retaliation for the shit and drivel that has come down the river of life. In my own arrogance I defer to a higher power in that they themselves have been wasting my time ultimately for years. Certainly you must agree when you look back on your own life and when someone comes along that just steals your breath away and then plays the silly little games of love and rejection it is a waste of time no one can survive. And there is the conundrum. I am there again making excuses for their poor behavior and allowing them to fill my time instead of my life and heart. So today, with all the time I have wasted this week doing nothing in particular, I have decided to reflect on the things that matter only to me. Great idea huh?~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.