School of Soft Knocks

moving forward through time and space to a realm I have never been to before. I have had education of the expected kind but not education of the chosen kind per se. I did try to attend community college but left in an arrogant tirade (I know right?!?) because I felt it was bogus to teach someone at their expense the things they already know. I lasted all of two classes in my naive youth. I don't regret that day but wish I would have kept on it and done more or sought another institution in which to flex my efforts and expand my horizons.

Instead I opted for a worldly education and I turned to drugs and alcohol and the people that come with such lifestyles finding my own niche in "mothering" them and looking after them. I saw myself as useful and was content but always angry that I didn't go further in my education. Amazingly I did learn all I had wanted to and only now need some skills to achieve a sense of usefulness again. I can no longer support myself or my child on my pretty face or my irascible wit. I must find an occupation to keep me from going mad and my "arts" are just not cutting it for me. Don't get me wrong, I will never stop spreading the disdain or the poetry of darkness to the masses and I will never close my mind to a song the fates place upon my head in the hopes I would know the words to make it sing proud. So now I understand a need to "do" something with myself to propel me forward. I am wiser and see the secondary education as merely a certificate of completion and skill advancement as opposed to a "status" for societal gains. It doesn't matter if I haven't attended an ivy league school or had gone to a state university and broke the ties of economic tiers. What matters is if you are down and out and are tired of being a "D" list employee with no marketability, then you need to acquire new skills.

I am at this point. Broken, sick and not sure of what time I have left except that I don't have much. I have lost my home and three husbands and many possessions and my health and youth. There really isn't too much more to lose at this point and not certainly anything that would compel me to become "born again" to any degree. But I see no harm in further self improvement efforts and am trying to walk down the avenues that would get me there. No one is ever wise enough, smart enough, articulate enough, useful enough. There is so much to do in this world and I am limited as to what is in my capabilities beyond entertaining the masses with my wit and mirth. It is important to me and to Lobo that I seek another education and outlet to provide for us. Mobe is looking for school and training so keep a heads up in the future for information on her possibly futile efforts!~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.