a day to celebrate "paternality" was upon everyone, and soon Madaleine and the boys would make one of the most memorable ones to be had. Her sons adored her and missed their father much but knew he was gone from them and would all someday be reunited in the end. They wanted their momma happy and felt she was too tired and wasting herself in her grief. Kids and family are smarter than we give them credit for.
Phillipe's sons were intelligent and had saved their allowance for months to buy a spectacular present for the father who wouldn't show up to receive it. They already knew they wouldn't make the annual trip to the cemetery because they had discussed it with their mom and they went last week as a kind of make-up visit. They loved her and never resented her tears, and though young Thomas was not in the know of meeting his father first hand, he never lost an opportunity in how his brothers filled in in his absence and his momma made sure he would know what a dad he had wanted to be. Then end of the week was approaching fast and all three of them were looking forward to going to the beach house their father's parents owned and spending some time with mom. It was a good way to spend a holiday, when she had to play her role and the added burden of love of another. They decided they would honor her, still keeping in the memory of their dad, for all she meant to them. Phillipe was no longer using "junior" as a part of his name and since starting high school, has grown quite well. He made arrangements with the money his brothers and he saved to have a present delivered to the cape house and was so excited because it was so long since she received anything. Only this time the present was not just from the boys but their father too.
Senior Phil had a will and not all of its contents were revealed upon death because he knew his loving wife was wonderful but not what others would call a strong woman. He knew if ever something was to happen to him it would devastate her, and this year marked the fifth anniversary of his passing, so it was time. It took him a long time to come up with a timeline on what he thought was acceptable and what he thought others would find suitable for her mourning and knew also it wouldn't bother him to know if she hadn't waited or couldn't stop her waiting altogether. But he made arrangements that on this day, his death day's fifth anniversary, she would receive a letter from the assessor that he wrote some several years ago telling her how proud of her he was and how well she was doing and how much he didn't want her to waste her life because she deserved happiness, always, for that was what he wanted, intended for her, if even fate stepped in and kept them apart. He freed her from their bond in such a way that it was forever keeping with them always a bond that will never be broken. And she didn't know the maelstrom that was about to toss her little sad world into a new cyclone.
Young Phillipe and Paulie stopped by the flower store on the way to pick up their brother from school. They walked the route everyday and it was easy to plan having this time together, just the two of them, alone. The local florist knew them and would always be kind remembering the tragedy that had struck on Father's Day years ago when a drunk driver would rip that poor family apart and leave her to fend for them alone, the four of them herself as she and her husband were happy but not necessarily well off. She watched as the two sons came inside and listened intently to their request. They wanted a dozen red roses and three white blooms to be sent to their grandparents' beach house the next town over on Father's Day during the lunch hour. They gave explicit instructions knowing their mother kept a tight schedule since their father's passing to keep some order in their lives. At lunch they would be on the back porch with mom in her sunhat, always wary of her creamy skin and the boys tooling around in the yard with Charlie, their grandpa's collie and the little fluff-ball that kept grandma's lap warm named Tootsie, a mini-pom. Jeannie was excited because no one in town ever knew her to be one to keep a secret and it made for an opportunity to change their opinion of her. She would be a true friend and keep it too.
Once packed and headed to the beach, they sat giggling in the back seat because tomorrow was the big day. Little Tommy knew what was up and kept so quiet, like a big boy, clutching his daddy's picture he kept in a small plexiglass frame so he could carry it always and always have him close by. The kid talked to it and no one ever dared mock him or poke fun for they would have the two older brothers to deal with. Only once was anyone foolish enough to tease the blond boy, and the end result was a broken nose and two school suspensions, out of school suspensions, to which the older boys happily served. After that, no one was a fool again. So sitting in the back seat he quietly loved his two older "fathers" and his momma and watched frantically, counting out the time until they approached the gravel drive to the old brown-oak shingled cape house with the white trim. He could barely contain his glee when the tires made the crunching noise on the broken pieces of shale and pebble as the Buick pulled in, and he tumbled out of the car with as much joy but not before getting barreled over by his grandpa's dog. Charlie loved the little boy because he was different and was special like he was. Charlie lost a leg in a fight with a moving car and it made people take notice of him the way they did with this shy, sweet kid who lost his dad before he was born, and he loved when the child put his thin arms around his furry neck and squeezed for dear life. Made the collie lick wildly at the cherry kool-aid stains on the kid's face and then, only briefly, leaving him to go greet the other boys before returning to follow little Tommy everywhere for the rest of the visit. Madaleine was relieved for the company and relieved for the vacation and was trying real hard to not spoil it for her boys.
Mrs. Hanrahan came out with a tray of iced tea filled with window pane slices of lemon and sweetened to perfection. She adored her daughter(in law)and never felt her a hindrance or blamed her for anything in the past. They always got along and she knew her son had a found a good match because this girl was frail to most eyes but strong as hell and she could see her resolve, and also knew Madaleine was strong enough to know when to ask for help. The girl looked thin and this vacation was a good way to fatten her up and give her a break from her ambling grandsons, angels that they were. She made plans to provide all of the kids and their momma's favorite foods while Patrick kept the boys company fishing and playing on the beach. She knew her daughter would venture down and spend time with the boys, but she wanted to spend time with her and go shopping and such. She knew it was time her daughter found her grandsons a man to guide them and a man who would love her and protect her and them, and she knew it was what her son had wanted for he told her so when the kids were just in high school and he came home to tell his parents his intentions. He made good on every one of them too. And she didn't feel guilty about her surprise she had planned after finding out the boys were going to send their mother flowers. Phillipe called from school to ask his grandmother how to go about doing it and it gave her the perfect opportunity to do some matchmaking, one of her favorite past-times as the village's happily received busy-body. So, after dinner and the dishes were cleared and the boys down in the living room with their poppa watching wrestling, she sat and had coffee and talked with her beautiful daughter.
Phillipe Sr.s brothers were good boys but never chose as well as he had and she would never let the other daughters-in-laws know Madaleine was her favorite and never breathed a word that she considered her as much a daughter as she did her own sons her kin. Her son favored this girl and they both were too much alike in looks that she would always be thankful because she would always see her beautiful boy in their sons faces, for they looked so much like both their momma and their dad. She talked about the upcoming weather for the week and the barbecue Patrick and she had planned for the morrow and the trips into town to shop that she wanted to go on with one of the other daughters. It felt good to talk of such things and time got ahead of them and soon the sound of Patrick 's snoring could be heard by both Hanrahan women and the boys were fast asleep, so she and their mother laid blankets on them and her husband and retired to their rooms upstairs. Natalie, Natty as she was called, knew Patrick would wake up himself in one big snore and join her shortly.
The next day was a bustle and busy as all get up with Phil's younger brothers showing up with their wives and kids for the Father's Day picnic planned. Men behaving like boys and women cooking and chatting was the usual mode on a Cape Cod weekend, and soon all were engulfed in the comings and goings on of each other as they shucked butter-sugar corn and chopped salad while the men fought about what kind of fire was needed for the chicken and clambake. The potato salad was made two days ahead by Natty and her sister, the boys' great aunt and soon everyone would break for lunch as the hissing of the clams told them it was ready. A van pulling into the drive had brought the tight-knit family to attention, and out of the driver's seat and into the back went the delivery man before anyone could tell who he was. Madaleine smiled sweetly at Patrick, her father in law and told him she now knew where his son got his romantic side from, assuming he had sent some flowers to his beloved this day. But the look of perplexity on his face told her something was up and she turned to see what it was about just as a tall, lean man about a few years older than her approached. He looked rankled and apologetic and called out for a "Mrs. Hanrahan" to which all of the women chuckled and then repeated "I am looking for a Mrs. Madaleine Hanrahan" and stepped up to the woman with the shocked look on her face with the long rose box and the card as well as an envelope.
"My names Michael, I'm sorry if I'm late but this isn't my route and I was filling in for Jeffrey and such and blew a tire when some jer-" cutting himself off noticing there were children present, "...man driving drunk cut me off causing me to jump a curb." The hairs stood up on the back of Madaleine's neck remembering the photos of an all too familiar truck jumped upon a curve and smashed into a telephone pole and her eyes began to well. Seeing the distress he caused, he knelt beside her asking if there was something wrong and placed his hands over hers in her lap as a gesture of kindness. She sobbed uncontrollably as he told her he was fine and wasn't hurt. Then he stood up and offered her his shirt sleeve to wipe her face and mentioned that Jeannie asked him to deliver this for her because it was so important and then proceeded to explain that he left his sister's and his parents' house to come out here for his sister. At the florist shop an attorney had stopped in and when he heard that Michael was headed to the Hanrahan house, he bade him to take a letter and sped along his merry way.
Madaleine was concerned and opened the box, first deciding that good news would cushion whatever that letter was about and saw the pretty roses lain in tissue and the card that read, in her oldest son's handwriting and signed by all three, "Happy Father's Day to you for being the wonderful mother you are and raising the fine sons I gave you, Phil." Her hands shook as she laid the box down to hug all three boys and Michael peeked down at what the card read and his eyes began to well up, but he pulled it back before anyone in the family would notice. Then he apologetically handed her the letter and she carefully tore off the one end and blew it open and pulled out the letter:
Dearest Maddy, love
If you are reading this then I have been gone for some time. I never wanted to leave and you have to believe me when I tell you this and hope you will forgive me for not saying goodbye (if I don't). I love our boys and you more than life, and maybe that is why we all have had to go through this, but what really has me worried is you. I miss you and miss the smile you used to have and feel it is time, Maddy.
It is time to let go and love again. I want you to love and be loved, and if I cannot be there to love you, maybe someone else can. I know we said "till death do us..." but it shouldn't be this way. It shouldn't be a punishment.
I asked Mr. Nossvberg to hold this for five years from when I am gone. I knew you wouldn't understand why I did this but I had to because as your husband it was my job, and I took those words seriously. Kiss Phillipe and the boys and let them know I am watching them and you too. Be happy love, I will be here when it is your turn and know the boys and will keep you company as long as they can. Who knows what life holds, only I know I hold you in my arms every night, even up here and want you to know you are not alone, and I refuse to accept you will choose to be alone and hurting forever. I will love you always and forever and that is enough for me, but you need someone. Someone to tell you how beautiful you are and how much you are needed and loved, someone to teach the boys and hold you at night when I can't. Go and find that someone and don't think of me or what you think I will think. You have always had my blessing since I first set eyes on you when we were thirteen. I love you now, as I loved you then and I will always love you,
Yours always,
Phillipe
...now the tears came. The gentlemen excused themselves, with the exception of Michael and took the boys to the beach while the sisters cleared the table and let Madaleine and Natty sit down. Michael was at a loss for words but couldn't help feeling something for this creature in front of him. "What happened?...I mean...what happened to your husband, Miss?" he asked carefully. Madaleine looked up into his blue eyes and thought how lovely they were as she told him apologetically about how when she had cried earlier it was for him because her hubby, her Phillipe, was killed by a drunk driver much in the same way he was nearly gone. The words kept pouring from out there and couldn't stop. She told him how she blamed herself and missed him so much and felt guilty and wrong for even trying to look for another. How she got along and that her and the boys were ok. She talked for a couple of hours and even walked a little ways with Michael before she realized her mother in law had left the two alone. She needed to say these things and didn't know why it had to be to this "Michael" but it did, and he listened intently as she spoke, watching her full mouth and her lean and tired jaw and thought to himself how good it would feel to hug her and hold her and comfort her. Then he touched her arm and asked her if he can call upon her to check in on her and the boys. "Maddy" clumsily said yes and scribbled her cell number down and walked him to his van and saw him off as he smiled and waved, pulling out of the property and onto the main drag. Back in the house she found her children's grandmother whistling and smiling, and a thought came to her mind that this was orchestrated by the shrewd woman but she dismissed it. She will never know why life had given her the blows she received and now didn't care. She was sure of Phillipe's love and that she was hurting not just herself but the boys by not letting someone be in their lives to aide and teach and comfort them. Now, thanks to the "presents" she had received, she was sure she would try harder and she was sure if Michael called, she would answer...~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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