the winds of change shall pave the way for the things that shall come to pass. The greatest disdain is when the ones you love and care for are in danger's way and all you can do is look on in horror and feel so useless to be able to aide or help them in any way. I am some twelve hundred plus miles from home. Not the home where my ancestors come from but the home where I was born, where my daughter's father and I had our first date at Smitty's Bar and I teased the shit out of him while making his "epic fail" shot at pool. Home was where my first catholic school was burned down some thirty-five years ago, so we were bussed downtown to another catholic school in the same diocese and it was later renamed after the former and the current, Saint Thomas Aquinas'-Saint Joseph's Parochial.
Home was torn down today. The pizza place I used to stop at on the way downtown to BayState West was leveled. I am not sure how long it has been there but I know the recipe for the dough was over fifty years old. The owners are only two decades in and fairly well off and I'm hoping they want to rebuild. The Red Rose will be missed if they decide to take their losses. My school, the one I mentioned a bit ago, was damaged severely and I don't know to what extent but the look on my face when I saw it was pained. My friend Dusty's apartment building had its entire front end tore off in a cruel twist of fate and I wonder if she was home. So much was destroyed and it's so weird what was left standing still. I watched in trance as this tornado, this thing, ripped across the state I love (despite it's many nicknames) and the city I was born in. My daughter's godmother and my best friend from high school was downtown when it happened. She lives some twenty minutes or so north but was sent there today, to hell, to go to the hospital for some tests and such. Now the facility is swamped with trauma injuries and such from the several dozen or more who need aide. And I sit some thousand miles away frantically trying to make sure everyone who matters to me, and everyone who matters to Lobo (even if I don't like them, in-laws!) are safe and sound. I am amazed that I even paused long enough to include her father's family in the list to check upon seeing as the whole lot of them did absolutely nothing for her or I for the first ten years of her life and right after their prodigal son abandoned us. I felt for him today as they were all waiting word on one of his older brothers' safety. Many things and memories have been destroyed today. People are lost and people are gone forever.
To the families that lost someone or a home, my heart goes out to you and yours. No one wants that bad news and I know they are strong and as a community they will rebuild. Things came apart that were intended and new things will take a new shape for our lovely little city by the mighty Connecticut River. My heart is heavy this evening and full of wishes unfulfilled and wants denied. I will never forget this day and look forward to seeing the city rebuild and getting home someday to be a part of it all again. Your mobe is hurting, kiddies, and the more she sees the devastation the more it will cripple her for the weeks to come. Parts of me are dying today along with the memories.~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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