walking along the beach's sand one happens to notice bits of this and that washing up with the incoming tide. Then you start to take notice of how vast that beach is and that every crumb has its place and each category is different from the last and it all adds up and you become overwhelmed.
The world is your beach. People are the many billions of snail shells with the little gooey "buddy" in his house and all the other objects are things for them to fight over and covet. With as many species as we have walking or flying above sea level, it just might surprise you to know that there are far more below sea level and we have barely covered the surface of what actually is the final tally. With all of this life teaming in every nook and cranny in this world, then why do some individuals go around acting like it all evolves around them. I mean, there are some really selfish assholes out there that think MY sole purpose is to be at their beck and call while they get to walk freely without anyone to answer to or a care in the world. I am not someone's servant and really don't want to ask people for favors as I do, but I have had to accept that I need assistance from time to time. It's a shame really when you are able to see the people who I have asked for assistance who do absolutely nothing with their day or energy. I'm a hell of a bitch because I choose those lazy fucks deliberately, spreading my disdain everywhere I go.
I had so much energy when I was a kid they named a drink after me. Jolt Cola had double the sugar and double the caffeine and was a trip on fizzy fuzzy sweet coolness...but seriously. (no it wasn't REALLY named after mobe but could have been with the way I jolted about town and had four jobs at the age of eleven) My kid is a sweet girl who is talented and intelligent but one of those so called lazy shits. I feel for her because her lack of ambition is not going to provide her anything, and I don't know how I can lead when the example she sees now, with me more sedentary now than I was then, isn't as good a one as I know I have been in the past. It bugs me when I ask her to do something I know I can do and that she should be able to do but she gives me grief. I have even told her I ask her because she needs to be more occupied than she is and more active and until she is, I will continue to find ways to make her active, it's my job. But here's the kicker, my "job" in teaching her doesn't seem to be working effectively and I don't know how else to convey to her that she is setting herself up not only for failure, but also setting herself up for a long road of pain and sloven behavior which will lead to heart problems and health issues down the road. I worry so much about her. She gets these examples not just from her mother's poor state of health but also from the other adults in her life and the peers in her life that more than qualify for the slacker of the year award. Her father being the king of the slack. He has shirked his responsibilities more than a hooker shirks her clothes for a john. It sickens me and disturbs me and she spends the next two weeks with a man who didn't want to visit her at all excepting a grand total of ten days out of the last eleven months when he had the opportunity to have her any and almost all weekends. Tonight I worry even more...mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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