there are those moments in one's life when they wish they could take back what they said or done. They want to say goodbye but only after things are ok. In my life this is never so as I say and do as I please and I hold nothing back. I am lewd and crude and don't mind admitting it one bit, so long as everyone is on the same page! This is for a "sister" of mine and anyone else out there in the human spectrum of things that can relate...
It is ok to have enough! Why do some people keep pushing the buttons of disdain long after the audience has left the building? It doesn't make an individual a "bad guy" because they just are sick and damn tired of explaining time and again why they have needs and why they feel infringed upon. Don't ever think anger and hostility are for the weak! It is only the weak who misuse it to get what they want rather than feeling it at appropriate times and accordingly to whatever situation has their attention and ire. It is ok to walk away and equally ok to walk back when being chased after and beat some sense into the person who is attacking you whether verbally or physically as deem fitting the issues. I feel for the brothers and sisters out there that are victimized by the rules of mankind's social expectations. You are born with free will no matter which god or gods you live by and that free will does not enslave you to take the shit doled out to you on a daily basis with a glass of steaming hot urine to wash it down with!
I have been somewhat of a victim of stalkers who couldn't let go and aggressors who just wanted someone to blame for their own misplaced disdain. What I didn't buy into was the concept that I couldn't defend myself or stand tall and demand change of situation and demand my right to be free of harassment. I chose to fight back and if with fists so be it. My worst stalker was my child's own father but there have been others through the decades, even family. I educated myself and gave myself the skills necessary to empower me to protect me and mine. "Let no one put asunder" means that not one soul has the right to interfere....it wasn't just intended for marriage ceremonial purposes and is a parable in Christian text but also has other worded cousins in most religious proverbs. If you are being choked then reach up and unclench the hands that choke you. If you are being beaten fight back, if you are being cornered kick the fucker in the balls or the hole and scram! No one has a right to order you and cripple you whether mentally or physically and never in the name of love. Usually it's the ones who scream they love you that fuck you over the most. I don't say those words too damn easily nor do I take them for granted. I show my kid love everyday in the care and empathy I display and the time spent in service to her. But I DO it of my own choice, not because I am told I have to!
The first sign of abuse is not the first slap! It is the first pivotal moment you realize that you are avoiding this person for whatever reason. Abuse is more than physical, it is mental and financial and familial and social and environmental and even political and medical and neglect. There are so many ways a child abuses a parent and a man hurts a woman and a sister attacks her sister. It comes to all people and is not prejudiced in its choice of people to infect or to maim. You need not suffer or cry anymore for the value in you is never the value assessed by another but by yourself and your beliefs. If you have been true to you then, you are what you want to be and if not, then you have the option to remain as you are or make changes. In no uncertain terms does another have a right to assess you and force a change in you you aren't willing to make, for even in your flaws you are uniquely perfect! Go and be happy and if that means to erase those that make you unhappy so be it! Family, friends, lovers, bosses and employees! All can be erased and the only allegiance made is to yourself and to the children you ARE raising(you even have a right to cast out a RAISED child who seems to be an offense to you as they will walk their own path, and it is not wrong to choose not to walk alongside them with their choices if what that is causes you harm either physically or supposed)and no other! Be at peace, seize back your will, be content with who you are, and love despite how shitty the world smells and with all your heart. If you fall once then get up once and if ye fall 1000 times then get up 1000 times for it is said that to stay down is to harass yourself-to assassinate yourself and to judge, sentence and defeat yourself! learn to live, live to love and love to learn and do unto other as would like for you but don't lie down like a kicked dog and let them take another shot!~mobe's pissed and loving her all and all to her loves
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