a car can travel approximately 1200 miles in any given day taking into consideration the time needed to take care of the personal business of the driver and refueling and traffic interferences. Most won't drive straight through and out of the few that even venture any great distance, maybe less than twenty percent notice the scenery. The biggest distances in life create the most spectacular unplanned "Ahhhh" moments. The greatest distance is the greatest place to find disdain, so too shall we look for it where we will.
I am not sure why I remember the moment at this particular time. Maybe because the adjustment to life with my brother's family isn't perfect or maybe because I realize the car I drive wouldn't make that trip again without an overhaul. I want to go on a trip, I yearn for it. I love driving and my kid is the best second seat around albeit the airy bodily functions after fast food! We, rather I, had enough of the fuss and misery in my second marriage and decided to leave. I couldn't stay any longer and felt I had no where to go other than to my mother's that was some odd 1400 miles to the northeast. She and I don't get along quite well but were starting on new ground and I just upped and left in the middle of one of the stupidest arguments with him and grabbed enough clothes for my kid for a week and a couple of changes for myself and sent about heading north. I wound up in Ocala National Forest some odd fifty miles from home and called him humbly asking him to pack me some extra clothing and some winter woollies for her and I as I had forgotten that it wasn't Florida weather in Massachusetts. I waited for an hour with her in the car and when he showed his face was as somber as expected and he told me he would still be here if I wanted to come back and I thanked him coolly and left. It was around ten pm and it was winter. We drove. The whole way non stop. Lobo fell asleep a couple of times and was no trouble at all. I remember every inch of our journey and even the songs that were played and maybe even a few call signs on the various radio stations we fell into along the way.
It was a little past dawn when we made Virginia and we had come to a stop in bumper to bumper traffic in the road. There was a gulch and a guardrail and just two lanes headed north and all were at a standstill. I was worried we would be stuck in the freezing cold and run out of gasoline and supplies and be done with. After a half hour the traffic moved ever so slowly and I could tell it was picking up when all of a sudden a deer flew by my passenger window in the air and disappeared into the ravine below some distance behind me. It was a sight and I deduced that a semi must have hit it while it tried to leap across the road only to find it's own disdain for humans and I wondered what it's last thoughts were of. Lobo cried out that we must have passed Massachusetts because reindeer were only up in the North Pole! I forgot in that one instant why we were there and where we were headed as I saw a horrific event in the eyes of my child as she saw it pure. It was exciting to see it according to her and even now I can't help but think of the Gary Larson cartoons of such rare funny occurrences in life and felt we had come across something binding and sweet. Death is rarely referred to as such but in this situation it was comical and awakening and even the glue that would eventually bring me back to him even if only for a little while longer before the end was finite. I couldn't wait to tell my mother and Lobo's godmother Lori about the poor deer and when I had they just didn't see the cosmic kick in the ass that I had. I will admit they found Lobo's take much more amusing and chastised her for "enjoying" the horrific sight now that she knew it wasn't a famous one on its take-off.
Life is funny and weird and tough and mean and cruel and sweet and exciting and sad and confusing and bittersweet all rolled into one neat package. We never know why or where or when life will be taken or what it will lead us to. That day a man or woman was pretty shook up behind the wheel of their vehicle but I bet quite glad it hadn't damaged them or the equipment. The deer had its life cycle ended and fed some hungry winter vagrants who didn't plan ahead and a mother and a child got a sight for sore and tired eyes to make them believe in second chances and faeries and folklore once again. One moment of disdain was a cherished memory for an ever and it wouldn't have been had not one gone the distance greater in her own disdain!~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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