I am changing and altering and coming into my own. I am liking the person I am now and know I will like me in the future too. I even am ok and liked who I was, but I see the subtle changes that are occurring as we speak and the ones that lie ahead.
I am at peace once again and feel vulnerable knowing that peace to a wamphyri never lasts too long. Nothing is permanent and it comes as no surprise when I am wronged that I should have my own Gandhi-like moment. I didn't fight. I know right?!?! Mobe just turned and walked away. It didn't happen once either. Some of you will snicker that I am getting old and you'd be well within your right. I am not a weak person and it does strike me as uncomfortable to be this Zen. I am not afraid or ashamed though, as it would only be temporary like all else in my world. There will be quiet on the seas of my ocean for some time. I know this and am ready for it to heal my weary self and allow me time to make ready for the next tempest to arrive.
There are things I'm going to try and do with the time I have in this calm state. I don't know if I can attribute this state to my species differential. I can't really attribute it to chronological age either as the older we get the more fight I think we have. I seem to be the opposite. What I do know is my time is running out and I am wanting to spend the rest of it either seeking happiness or enjoying it. Keeping in mind happiness for one is not what the other would choose. So I am going through some alien equivalent of menopause in my belief. I still remain the same horny and angry and aware person. Only one who wants to take a break from the blood and gore and stare at the sky and listen into the silence to see if she can hear her family calling her, from within....~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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