we teach our children the things that matter to us. Some want to teach their young respect. Some will pass on loyalty and faithfulness and others will push the word of the good book. I prefer to teach understanding and tolerance and self awareness. I want the children of this world who's lives I have touched to remember that they don't own this place and that it is theirs on loan and they need to leave as little a footprint in as righteous a way possible. I'm afraid not all share this sentiment and we do tend to get caught up in the one thing that irks us.
I have so many things that irk me that it makes me an effective parental unit and teacher. I feel in order to leave as little devastation to this place and its inhabitants as possible it is important to teach not one or two of these but all of them. When a child is lied to it learns to lie and later to be disrespectful of himself or others that matter dearly to him as well as those that are unknown. When a child witnesses its guardians fighting and screaming at one another it will perpetuate the cycle despite how much we may tell them it isn't right. Effective teachers aren't the ones who don't err, they are the ones who make mistakes and learn from them and do not repeat them or wait for some other fellow to come along and fix it for them. I have been married three times to wonderful children who are a product of the environment and system and values they were taught. Each was a good boy who made mistakes but I soon found all were to keep continuing the same mistakes over and over again and always look for the open door or window to fly out of and leave the coop with his mess intact for the next occupant to fix. I'm not long for this world and have come to realize despite what other's may feel that my inability to sustain a healthy relationship stems from, my own core values on what I hold dear and how I will not trade them for all the tea in China, peanuts in Alabama or lobsters in Boston's waters are what seems to get in the way. I err. I err a lot! But I rarely err in repetition. In actuality I seem to have an uncanny knack of finding the most ubiquitous errs known to mankind to delve into and the only err I make is in trusting too easily. Time and time again humanity has lead me down a path of dark corners and dungeons in the mist and I follow happily like a plump little ball of hope only to find before long that somethings just don't measure up. I chastise myself and consider myself flawed for not noticing earlier and even punish myself into fixing things as if I really could make a difference and the things that needed fixing would change. Talk about a pipe dream!
I have many children in my life in some form or other and already can tell the caliber of individuals they will turn out to be. It's a sad state we live in I'm afraid as most of them don't get the big picture because mommy and daddy were quite ok with them watching horror flicks but considered the truths of mankind too wrong to speak of. Babies growing up to have babies and kids having such little regard for life that they carry guns. The terrible twos never came to my Lobo. Nor did the threatening threes or the formidable fours...Lobo hasn't changed much at all. She is still the self aware and erroneous little heathen I gave birth to, only she has her innocence lost in this world because I chose not to raise her in a den of lies. Many adults that I have come in contact with do not like this fact nor the fact that I let her speak her mind. They are even appalled that she does so willingly and that I don't begrudge her her voice. I will correct her in her misguided efforts but I never silence her. She was born with a voice and a choice and though she may not always make the choices I would have, she also didn't have the negative motivation I did to do so! My disdain for humans is not hers and I do not allow her to use my lack of happiness to justify her own. I let her have hers both good and bad. I praise her for her efforts and even kid to her when she chooses bad for it is her choice to live with. I dust her ass off and pick her up when she falls and even kick her in the seat of her pants a time or two but never, ever have I took her choice away. She is faithful and loyal and truthful(albeit not always right away)and respectful and dedicated in all she does. I go to bed tonight amongst a flock of babes and one tonight has my respect and admiration for the young woman she is becoming. Strong-willed and head strong if not always right, she sleeps quietly and still, as the angel she is to me. And so I rest knowing that yes, I was a better parent than my own, a better teacher than yours and a better example than almost all of you in that I won't "hypocritize" her lessons to secretly fulfill a wish of mine that I wouldn't wish for her. I relish her first fist fight and her first kiss and her first real-life consequence that stems from her own adulthood choices. ~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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