Balancing and Tightropes

Awkward moments flip past like the drawing books we used to click pages in to make it almost appear as if it is a motion picture of stick figures. I have had many awkward moments. The uncomfortable pauses in life give us just enough fear to motivate us to move forward.

Balance is so funny when it is a sweet chubby tot pretending to be a ballerina in a tutu much too big. Try as she might to stand on her tippy toes, she falls over and over again because her balance isn't developed yet. I know people without a good balance in their lives and I myself have been that tot in adult form. I juggles bills and pets and chores and appointments and procurements and so on everyday, just like you, and not always as gracefully. I do, however, manage to stay on my feet and on course if even a rocky one. Things would be so much more easy for me if everything went exactly as planned and everyone stood where I placed them in the shot and all the equipment worked in top form and you all would obey my mind that you could read! Boy what a fucking pipe dream that is but that is what everyone expects everyday from their work and hostess at the airline counter and server at Taco Bell and cashier at the local discount chain. Mind reading and god complexes show us just exactly how imbalanced our society is. We forgot people were once little princesses in tutus and princes with six shooters at the O K Corral. We all had hopes and ideas we thought were logical and as we get older we grow and become more tolerant provided there is a balance. I suffer from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder for those of you not in the know) and have for my whole life and my balance was kept in the simplicity of counting and storing things. I would go to extremes when my life was shook like a snow globe but always came back to taking inventory, as my friends and colleagues like(d) to call it. You could come into my house and ask me for the most unusual or mundane object and 99% of the time I have one. Even worse I can go to your house and within the hour, in complete darkness and absence of light, I can walk around and not bump into a damn thing and even tell the "man of the house" where what he is looking for is when he hollers at his wife! I don't snoop-I just hone in on the little details.

Now I am uninventorizing my possessions and the stress of facing it is killing me! But to keep balance I have made myself a game plan to follow and a strategy. Only the cats and kid and bro, where I will be staying, and doctors and creditors and everyone else just ain't getting their cues correct! And no matter how loud I scream into the megaphone "CUT!" they all are about their own ordeal...so when did the world stop doing what I wanted it to and getting along with my schedule?? OH......that's right...it never did! Damn, I keep forgetting that fact. So I fall off the tightrope and rub my burns and stretch my legs and start unfolding my shirts again to find any that are sub-par to donate to charity. Charity will have a hell of a holiday this year! (Thanks to balance...in an imbalanced mind! *giggles)~mobe's love to you all and her all to her loves!