Days of Frustration

at any given moment of any given day I will awaken with this feeling of impending doom that I will be unable to shake no matter what I try. It isn't as if I didn't put a genuine effort to it, I just have no choice in the matter and so, having come to a part of my life where I know what works and what doesn't, I just go with it.

You ever have a day that just screams to you "GO KILL SOMETHING!"? I have and I embrace those days and realize I need them as much as I need the days when the souffles always come out fluffy and never drop. In order to maintain balance we all have to come to an understanding of what our demons are and how to live with them the best way possible to allow them their freedom, but at minimal to no cost to others. I must say, despite the neglect and abuse to which I was brought up, I was generally a happy kid if even I was afraid most of the time. And now that I am older I am generally a peaceful one. I love my evil days and wish there was a way I could save them all up like you would vacation time to cash in at the end of my existence so I can enjoy the devious deeds my mind comes up with for kicks. I would love to literally disembowel some asshole who really had it coming while he/she still whimpers in his/her pool of blood, and sit there with him/her and force feed him/her each inch of his/her intestinal tract as if to let him/her know he/she can eat their own shit from now on because I and everyone else is done with what they've been dishing out. I wouldn't even be disgusted by sitting in their blood with them with my macabre stares and wild eyes as I explain the crimes and the reason for their current situation. I have far darker dreams and ideas for what to do with all sorts of people in this world that refuse to treat others as they would like to be. But I have come to realize they DO want to be treated the way they treat others, only no one has the balls to do so, and the political correctness of society and the "everyone must win" mentalities have held them back from their just desserts! Rapists and abusers and thieves and cheats and liars and torturers and oppressors and all sorts of criminal riff-raff would cringe if ever they announced a social united front and brought back public execution and torture chambers. I would be the first fucking bitch in line, I tell ya. Hell I would kill off the competition for the job without guilt, as if they really thought they were worthy! hahahahaha

It is one of the two darker professions to which I am most ideally suited. The latter being a prostitute without guilt!(giggles-I just love the response on people's faces when I explain just how much money I would make seeing as I am never sated! I could work one night a week and make more than most lawyers!) But public executioner is the one that I like the most. The blood red life force of some denizen just spilling into my hands gives me goose bumps far quicker than anyone I know. I don't dwell on the thought of whether or not I think I am a closeted serial killer, let's face this head on and just say Dexter has a sister. And like my infamous television brother, I would hunt and kill all who are deserving. The government could make money from the space in jails they would save, mind you-not all crimes would be punishable by death. But should death come at their own ignorance for not seeking or affording medical treatment when I am finished with my "play time" then death it is! No remorse and no "monster's ball" for them. As I have stated before, I don't carry guilt for I have done little to be guilty of and have corrected that to which was the "little" in part. I can hear the howls and screams of the pedophiles as they are publicly castrated and turned into eunuchs and then put into public slavery as professionals in some piece of shit job we can find for them. Keep them occupied for the idle hands of a dirty man shall be the necklace charms of Mobe!

I embrace these days of frustration and even look forward to them to keep myself a well oiled machine. I do not cower or hide what I am and I do not sell a lemon from my lot, so to speak. I will most assuredly list all my "perceived" flaws first when meeting new people and let the chips fall where they will on the table. Most often the blooming idiots in the garden of life don't believe me. And I have no guilt for their remorse or shock at finding out how truthful I really am, their ignorance is my guilt-free gain. Never has a true friend seen my darkness and been feared of what that holds for them for they are sincere in their acceptance of me, and they know how rare those vile Mobe momos are. So I say unto all, live as you want you to live but remember to live as though Mobe is watching and taking names for someday my ship will arrive and you will see a new pair of work boots to go with the ax I got to grind!~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves!