How May I Help You? a customer's nightmare

There is no polite way of getting your point across but this day just blew! In the secret sanctity of day-dom, this was the epitome of the world's worst asinine day known to humankind and all other forms of life!

I can't get a break. No matter how hard I try to be patient and to "put myself in someone else's shoes" there will always be this imminent underlying and overwhelming need to choke the living shit out of the dumbass dead heads walking around this planet with entitlement! Let's take a journey and see if you can find where "I" went wrong or let me know if ya feel the un-love and would have blown a fucking gasket like I did!

First I have been troubled. No one specific person's fault but been under a lot of stress lately with moving and holidays and exes crawling out of the woodwork for a "last try" so their dumbasses can say they had a date over the holiday season and not look like the needy fucks they are! So having only two hours sleep in the last 48 hours, I settled into bed at seven am which was right on schedule and awoke at 2:30pm when my baby came home from school. She kept her issues down to a minimum as I forewarned her that momma was not feeling it today and was still tired. Then her father calls. No biggie but I had already called him this weekend to discuss the holiday schedule as we hand her off in alternating holidays-for those of you with slow friends that means one gets Thanksgiving and the other gets Christmas and we switch the following year. Well he had decided to discuss it further with our 14yr old daughter and not include me into my own holiday as he was making plans for my holiday with her. Her saving grace was to tell him to bugger off to which she handed me the phone and we got into it. So I wasn't feeling it at all by that point, if I was only a lil bit earlier and her and I headed out to go do errands after supper. Nothing unusual except my first stop was at the local gas station to find some idiot with a gumball license had parked directly in the middle of a four pump access so as to make sure she didn't get her 2004 Mitsubishi dented for fear it would lose its "lot" value! Incredible as it was, it was no surprise to see her talking to herself when she finally emerged from the freeking store and even answered herself too.

Next we drove to our Walgreen's to get my vampy prescriptions. I call them in every month and to avoid ME they established a new call center so some crazy bitch in Louisiana has something to laugh about and fuck up after she gets off the phone with me, twenty five miles northwest of Tampa FL. So over a short duration I figured how to get to the pharm directly and make sure I get someone who will answer for the screw ups when they occur. Today I went to the drive thru and patiently waited without mirth or injustice in my heart, and when it came to my turn she rang me up without issue and I checked my bag to find they omitted two of my medications. Now I know odds, and two out of nine isn't bad, but when we're playing with people's lives it is critical. I was told it would be 15 minutes so I informed her I would return later and get them after my routine. I mean seriously, I explain to them every time on the phone that this is an issue of incompetence and even have to spell my prescriptions to them and listen to them gossip and whatnot while entering it all into their handy-dandy computer, to go there in three days and find the "re-re" bitch either deliberately or ignorantly missed one or two or even three! I left with a less than stellar smile as they all looked so concerned for the hassle they caused the last 5 years with making me return time and again.

My next trip would have been uneventful had not the cashier look like my kid will be his boss in two years when she turns 16, he being 40 with he IQ of a 6yr old who just found out what his dick could do! I paid for gas at the pump for a separate receipt(yes I went to a gas station earlier for lottery as this place doesn't have it, and thank the gods because this idiot couldn't handle just cigarettes and gas!)and went up to his kiosk to get cigarettes and a couple of calling cards. These are global cards and they have the best price in town and he disappeared in his kiosk, which was an amazing feat considering the whole unit was 8ftx8ft and the cigarette wall was see through and moved back and forth. He came back some 5 minutes later to inform me he couldn't find them and they didn't carry them. LOL, I purchased them there a dozen times and they had a sign I could have beaten him with not inches from his face and when I got in that line it was me, myself and him and now the whole damn town was there and giving me the "eye" of disdain! I said fuck it and told him I will be back later when an adult came to work and then I left. Drove around the corner to Walmart for a lock for my new storage unit. No biggie again. Found the lock and a couple of items to stash for Christmas and went through the register to have my credit card declined. Now at this point I was pissed. There were little kids screaming with their low class parents and grabbing shit in the check -out aisles and I was seriously fighting the urge to put the mommas and the poppas over my lap and  give them the ass whoopin' their little demons deserved! In some cases I do think it is warranted and today was such a case. I paid with the other card and left in a huff and hurried to my car. I called Capital One to ask them what the fuck was up and why they keep declining my credit when I am never late and pay more than the minimum and was told they need more verification as there was suspicious activity on my account. I guess my meds set off an alarm and the gasoline and cigarettes made them quiver and when I tried to buy a Pepsi they just couldn't handle it!

This lady was from another country to which I will be discreet and not disclose except to say it rhymes with BINDIA, and wanted my social security number, my address twice, my three digit code on the back of the card, a cup of coffee and scone, my bra size, shoe size and to sit and have a fucking chat about every transaction I did today as well as everyday since I was 18 and had my first credit card! I verified my social number with auto-help and verified the code and typed in the correct account number and, beyond my name and address, she really should have gotten her own breakfast and a puppy to break up her lonesome momos so as to not need the chat time on my schedule. I asked for managers, six fucking times as she kept reading her script like she was auditioning for "Slumdog Trillionaire: the Sequel" and finally, after threat of bodily harm and possible napalm/genocide, I was transferred to her boss, a polite southern black woman who asked her in front of me if she verified the code and address and social security number and why the hell she wouldn't release my account. Then the boss disconnected her, as it was safe to assume she wasn't on vacation in the middle east, and apologized to me and released the funds.

problem solved....Now while all this is happening and my happy fat ass is rolling through town looking for the next fucker to go on my Christmas Death Wish List, there were sirens everywhere. THAT should have been an indication today was 'TARD day and all good peoples should stay indoors with duct tape around the seals so the infection doesn't spread-but I didn't, and well, I think I'm coming down with something "not" funny-my nose itches! Hindsight being 20/20 I should have "throated" the little bastard kid in the car next to mine at the pharmacy for being a shit as I was dealing with missing LEGAL drugs and he was hanging his six-yr old head out the window screaming "hurry-up!" I should have gotten out of my car and punched his mother in the face as she did nothing and grabbed him by the ears and slammed him into the door/window jam and cracked his pipe so he wouldn't be able to fuck up his school holiday play as he was sure to do, he could play a goat. It never ends. I can't get a break. Had to drive to Walmart number 2 to get what Walmart number 1 didn't have and try to act all happy and not homicidal and actually pulled it off, but then wouldn't you figure as we were leaving, some dumb bitch ten years my junior shout to her mom while walking into the store "Holy Fuck I want that tree Jesus fucking Christ why do they have it up now?"(here's her sign: *holds up both hands with one finger secretly hidden) Please, there were Christmas displays out as early as before Halloween by weeks and I know this chick and her barefooted momma in their jammies didn't shop at the local Macy's, so perhaps, what do you think the odds were that she has seen the displays well placed where her kind will see them so as to maximize the income potential from the "government assistance but not needing it" crowd! I wanted to take my car and run her over and over and over and over until she was a puddle the street sweepers will get at 3am. All's well...Walmart was finished and yea, the card worked at this one, and we left and headed....you guessed it...back to Walgreen's! To get my fucking prescriptions and go home at midnight with this sick feeling that I am turning into a serial killer, my targets: ignorant fucks! Why can't people do the RIGHT thing the FIRST time instead of continually doing it WRONG! If it's a case of not liking your customer, there are things that are considered better to do. For one, do it right so the person doesn't come back and wait for your shift to end and follow you home to watch your routine for a month and then sneak inside your house and chloroform your ass and beat you with an aluminum bat!~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves(and a tranquilizer for bed)...gnyt!