Crying Inside

The Tears Won't Come

it's not the way you look at me but the way you feel when you cannot look at me. I remember when I mattered more to you everyday and that your world was full of hope and life and love for knowing I was in it. Now I see a sad little girl alone and desperate and tired. The face reflected in the mirror holds fear. Of the unknown world, I see ahead of me and the absolute emptiness I see in its future. It is a cold, dark place and I used to love such places when they were tangible, just now, I'm not feeling it on the outside nor want to feel it inside of me. There will never be enough words to choke back the tears and the scary visions perverting my head and tormenting my heart. It isn't right anymore to hold onto something that slips away like sand and water when you run your fingers through it. It felt so good to be wanted and to be sought after and now it feels horrid. I feel like trash put to the curb and wonder if you really care of my heart or if you have one of your own. I would have faced whatever demons we had together and fought hard for this were I a younger woman...but I go, in silence, to be alone and in that cold, dark, dreary place where I used to play in the dark all sorts of imaginary games. Only I was never a princess and there was never a king, only a little warrior with a back of iron and a will of steel...~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.