spending the bulk of my evenings dispensing disdain is not an easy task. It is a labour of love and one to which I take quite seriously despite how silly it would seem to "love" such a thing. I was designed uniquely for the job and who else would bring it to you as I have...I'm sure someone could have brought the information at some point but not in the manner or entertaining fashion I have and am.
I hold no love for humanity and many know that. Yes, I am currently in a relationship and have been in and out of several dozen over the course of the two plus decades I have been an adult by your standards. I find your kind attractive and useful even if I do not always find them intelligent, and some semblance of what we are allows for the vanity and the all inclusive ideal that I have always wanted to belong. Now, knowing what I am, I do belong but just not to the group that I so desired to in my youth. People ask me all the time if I go looking for the odd and sensational in society and if I have always had a warped sense of view. The truth be told I don't have to look far as the illustrations of mankind's follies are out in the open, up front, right in your face and one needn't look very far.
Believe me I want to find a shred of humanity that is not all consuming and destructive to this planet and each other. In my daily travels that is actually the goal. But tried and tested against a rigorous panel of evidence they always manage to fall short. The gentleman that I have been keeping company with himself is aware of the world's system failures and we share a sort of symbiotic universe if even I'm an owl and he's a hawk. He knows of my ills and ails and knows of my own personal hell looking for something I want to know exists but believe to be a fable of long ago. I have so many examples and people find me a hater of man. Again truth be told I hold no more love for women than their male counterparts and of course still find them useful. If not for mankind there wouldn't be the tools and science held today to find such creatures as myself and provide those of us with the longevity our lifespans never held before except in rare instances. I have been given a second chance because of this medicine and Laurel has been given a choice in hers that I never was given. Now, to live, I must take medication and avoid as much light as possible leaving the only recreation suitable for my elite status as being that of sharing of the flesh with another. It sounds scarier than it is really and it is one we all enjoy and wouldn't have the children to beget had not we have the same shared existence.
To me it is difficult to speak of such things knowing that there is the possibility of minor minds reading this so I try to be delicate as possible even if it doesn't necessarily seem as so because my own kin has taken a liking to my words I do tailor them for her youthful ears. I am flabbergasted and shocked and awed by the creature that has taken residence in my mind as of late and slowly trying to slide into my heart. I chide and kid that I don't have one, a heart that is, and only have desire and a need to utilize my intelligence for finding suitable examples of exemplary men and women that exist out there. I consider it a default when I cannot and take great joy in decloaking the lies and tales and myths of what they think they are when they do fall short of muster. But, I have found someone who feels as strongly about the world and society and such as I. I have found several really but this one, close to home, has insinuated himself under my skin enough to infect my thoughts with nonsense and infatuation of form. No man has ever subdued mobe since she was a child and took against her will. No man has ever dared approach mobe since she built up her strength and character and finds herself above their disdain and level. If ever there was a someone who dared they'd be knocked down quite suitably and shown the errors of their ways, and it has been this way since long ago when my views on the dynamic of the female and male interaction left me jaded and feeling lost and alone and unable to be loved. No one worthy of that challenge and the rest just mere toys to use at whim for pleasures of the mind, flesh and material things, but always with a mutual trade. Far be it for the likes of my kind to owe a damn thing to someone! But alas, my mind has been slipping back to last evening and touching the bruises I hold in remembrance of how someone of your kind wanted to taste a forbidden fruit at any cost and dared face rejection and words no man wants to here at his feeble attempt. He was not feeble. He was simple and sweet and knew what he wanted and when questioned today, I was surprised to find that he was out of character and not accustomed to unleashing the wrathe he did on my person. Pleased is to light a word to what I feel right now. Elated too, and awe about sums it up. I didn't feel weak or useless but he didn't scare to easily by the night monster he kept company with. He took a beating and gave one and today he was tired, as I was, and needing of rest, as I rarely do. I know I left my mark on him and today feel the delicate pain in the tender swollen areas of where he touched me and smile knowing I just may have found one man, a man, who wouldn't back down nor would evoke fear. Yes we do have fear as a feeling but it is rare and we mostly use it as fuel for attacking that which brought it on before it has a chance to breath another cloud of smoke and scare the shit out of us.
I enjoyed the war between us two. His passion and mine and his pain and mine and know when we do finally get to be beside one another completely as a female and male should when they feel as we do, that there will be no disappointment and both will suffer weeks on later. Tonight he sleeps as I think back on what we shared and wonder if he knows the impact he has had on his self and mine. I am simply smiling and waiting in launch like a cat for dinner and loving every minute I toy and bat it around longing for the day when we can cry in the night and share a dawn's sleep together with each other's heartbeat as the musical backdrop to lull the dreams to the surface.~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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