But life is like that isn't it? I have always had an easy time of putting some money away but then worry continually about that money and who sticks their grubby little paws into it. I have stored change like acorns in the fall and squirreled away vintage paper. I have opened savings and money market accounts and even held two cd's (certificates of deposit) which I took loans out on and later repayed. I am aware of my erroneous deeds and to whom the bell will toll when it tolls for me. I should have a nest egg by now approaching forty fast, too fast. But alas, I have not been able to achieve that goal and for that...it is my error while saving.
In these trying times it is hard to imagine anyone being capable who didn't already have the means to save. Really, it is true that money begets money and in my instance any family fortune was squandered in the "Peace, Love and Happiness" of the 60's and in the decadence of the 70's by my family line. I come from a a long line of gamblers on my mother's side, and on my father's side we have lived hand to mouth so I guess I am a perfect rendition of "hand to wallet to table jockey to home to mouth and to bed once I tired myself out yelling at myself." I don't tend to gamble beyond lottery occasionally and the occasional bingo game with my sister. But I do know of those that do and am amazed at the "luck" or knack they have for turning a buck into a $10!
But I am not just talking money here kids, I am talking life. I am pretty good at saving too much and have to spend time to actually downsize my stuff. I have two storage units and not the strength to empty either one on my own. I may have well have linens for every size bed known to mankind but my daughter and I only have a twin and a king. There are no less than four sets of dishes because when one hubby left he parted things like King Solomon and took half of everything as a joke (haha...I get it, you're an ass!) and it was never enough "meal-ware" for more than two. So into storage it went and more was bought until it happened again and eventually, I wound up with halves of everything. The same can be said for clothes and I seem to have become quite a pack rat at saving things for projects that just never get off the ground. I keep old jeans in the hope of sewing some new "thing" like a bedspread or a pocketbook or bookbag out of them. I save everything.
We cling so much to the errors of our lives in the hopes these things act as ball and chain to us and penance to remind us not to be stupid again. Only the penance itself is a form of stupidity, so I say, savings be DAMNED because you can't take the shit with you! I plan on moving soon into a place of my own and my daughter's own again. When I do I will need to hire some brawny fellows to pack my shit and unload it to our new home and to move both storage units into the new home as well while I go through every single tote, box, crate and decide what is kept (little I hope), what is sold and what is donated. It is how I give back and believe me, my kid will enjoy the rummaging through our old saved shit to donate and discard because it will be like Christmas all over again. I wish more people did this but I see things on the side of the road everyday that are perfectly okay get put out in the trash. I must be in the wrong business! Imagine the days it will take to sort through two 10 x 10 units that are stacked ceiling high? Anyone wanna "save" me and lend a hand?~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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