little Bo Peep has lost her sheep but the wool was once pristine! And when she found her and spent the hour she found the sheep was meek. Today was an awkward day in my history and Lobo's...
I missed her terribly and do all I can do to instill a sense of vigilance on her part to keep herself safe from harm and chaste from the ills of man. Today she is sacrificed at the stake of knowledge and one she needed but that her momma could have waited another ten years for her to get. I couldn't wait for her to return from her dear old daddy's house and it kept me awake well past my witching hour. I passed out around 8:30am and was awoke by her bumbling in my room all giddy and missing mommy. AT 10:00am! She wouldn't stop talking so I figured I'd let her "lull" me to sleep with a foot massage and her incessant need to tell me the whole vaca in one breathe! But my ears pricked up. Some boy named Jordan (yes I will give his first name!) called her on her cell she has at her father's (that I refuse to let her have citing it is not a necessary tool). She used to know him from her old school only now he goes to a different one, and he told her he couldn't wake up and needed her to "talk" to him because that usually works. Only she's never talked to him via phone before but a couple of times and certainly not while he was in his bed.
So Lobo proceeds to tell me how she talked and talked but he said rarely anything and how funny he was, (my daughter is cute) and my ears went beet red. I questioned her and the more she answered me the more I got pissed. This little fucker was using my daughter's voice to imagine her "goodies" (though she doesn't speak dirty or even spoke anything resembling it...and you can take that to the bank!) while he yanked himself off!! WTF!?!? She laughed when I told her, uncomfortably. Then more uncomfortably, and all I could think of was the "long distance" raping of my kid and the using her as an imaginary "cum dumpster" and was infuriated. I almost lashed out at her for being too ignorant to understand how BAD this is! But I resisted. Here was a "friend" of hers who says he likes her and respects her and he used her like a cheap whore to provide his own need...to me whether it was in person or not is irrelevant and those of you with little girls know what the fuck I am mad at!
When I finally got through to her..she went hysterical (I'm glad >phew< she's normal at least and gets it if a little slow to the take) and promised me (she keeps those) that she will block him from her phone and refuse contact with the little piggish bastard. (not her words-MINE!) I thought she was going to be flattered and at the beginning, I even think she was at first...who wouldn't be with that power...in your voice to make them weak! But I threatened her and told her "IF I EVER HEAR THAT NAME EVER EVEN IF IT ISN'T HIM OR THINK SHE KEPT COMMUNICATION WITH HIM THAT I WOULD STRIPE HER FROM HER NECK TO HER ANKLES!" and then quietly affirmed to myself I would do no such thing and then furthered, "If he is unlucky enough to bump into us in public you will need to keep my cell and call your uncle or grandfather because not only would I give him a "what for" but I would make his day a little less easier to pull or tug on himself when I connect his DOTS and push his children so far up into his belly he sings soprano for several weeks if not months!"
Mind you I am pissed AT HIM, not her and would NEVER "stripe" her like I said, but I needed to say something to invoke the fear of "mobe" into her so she remembers this always and knows the difference between a friend and a pig who is only out for her goodies! To her testament, she is a good girl, virgin/never been kissed not even by her own boyfriend (who has had the fear of "mobe" put into him long ago and truly does love her and respect her) and is by my side most 24/7 when not AT school or her father's. Yes, I DON'T let her out of my sight and with KIDS like him do you really have to ask why, let alone grown men and women who lure children for whatever unholy need and harm them and educate them far more than they need?
It reminds me back to a sweet girl you all have heard of, Jessica Lunsford. Her family lived the next town over from us and Lobo was nine-ish when she was brutally raped and murdered. Lobo was her non-relative "twin" and we couldn't go ANYWHERE in the whole county because everyone thought she was Jessica when the poor girl went missing. And I had to educate her then about the ills of man and man-like monsters that lurk out there. She used to stray from me in the stores when she was small. So I would sneak away but take a viewpoint, stealthily and watch her in her moment of panic when she realized she fucked up and was alone with no momma. I am pure evil when it comes to getting the message across. And I loved that panic! We didn't have to "play" that card too often, but from time to time she would screw up and wander away again because she was so inquisitive, but I did my thing and waited for the panic cry and the wail and appeared ready to take her ass off of her legs!
But after Jessica, I sat her down and explained, brutally, what John Couey did to her and how he was able to do it right under the drunken grandparents noses while her father neglected her on a school night to go get laid and drunk himself. Oh yes, I was brutal and I was brutal today too. But after our little talk six years ago she never wandered again. And I am thankful for that. When her friends tease her about not being able to run the streets she tells them off and tells them obviously their parents/guardians (she knows this word too because of blended families) didn't give a rat's batooty about them! YAY! I won! She was safe...until today, when the predator was her friend.
This stinks. She got "pawed" at in school by girls (lesbians but still inappropriate) and a couple of young men she is friend with and it infuriated me then. Why? Why can't school be about school like it was in my day and why can't holding hands be enough!? I had already had my first kiss at 11 (seven minutes in heaven "with someone even less experienced than you!" lmao) a few times but then didn't again until I was 16. She will be 16 in five months! And she has the singing voice of an angel. Which was the funny part.
Later in the day when we were shopping it finally dawned on her I was right. She told me he has always liked her "that way" and it was because he liked her singing. And she put two together and realized today he liked her singing enough to wank to her voice and it made her shudder. Today, her innocence is getting carved out more and more, too damn soon. I don't know if I can take this or much more of this anyways...~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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