gratification comes in many ways. It can come through the approval of a deed done well or an achieved goal and can seep away with the balance of disapproval as well. As intelligent species go, you would think we would have all learned to value the difference in others as much as we value the difference in our possessions or other organic matter. It isn't so. We start with thy self here...
THIS MATERIAL IS NOT SUITED FOR PERSONS UNDER THE AGE OF 18 YEARS~mobe
For most of you, we were raised with tons of approval. Every poop and every tear was congratulated by our parents and adult supervisors. It set most of you up for folly in the seeking of this constant approval in life from others, and no one person ever realizing that they themselves are the only one who needs to approve of what you do. We lost touch with ourselves by letting others provide for us what we ourselves can provide, and one good way to take back control and boost one's self esteem is to love one's self.
Pleasuring one's self should never be viewed as bizarre or filthy. It is not the intention that is filthy, but there are instances when doing it to the discomfort of others does take away from the nobility in the deed and duty to yourself. Let's face it...when I don't want to watch it will be a cold day in hell but I am aware there are others whose minds are just too fragile to handle the maturity of such an act. And if you think it is dirty, look at an infant at play for any great length of time and tell me you think it is dirty. Since we could reach our sexual organs we have been exploring them and playing with them. How else would we be able to convey accurately what we want? I have seen sonograms of friends children in the womb with their hands in or on their genitalia and it didn't disturb or arouse me. It fascinated me as to when human sexuality begins.
Massage your head (the thinking one, and for those of you who need further clarity it is the one with TWO eyes!) and scalp with your fingers and close your eyes. Feel the tingling sensation and the ripple effect of the goosebumps down your back right straight to your crotch! Yes, they all go there. Now move your fingertips to your chin and the soft tissue at the beginning of your throat...same effect! You are wired for pleasurable touch and wired for your OWN touch. The body's receptors lead right straight to the reproductive organs because it is intended that survival of the species depends on the copulation of said species and what better way to get me, you and anyone else to want to bump uglies than to make it feel good!
So, how do we know what does and doesn't without completely freaking ourselves out? We don't but most of us accidentally get bumped or rubbed the right way and quickly learn. We then tend to explore that feeling and reproduce it. The shame is I have met many men and women who knew nothing about their body and how it works. I have had to teach these individuals where the hell their erogenous zones are and how to use them to their benefit. I get there are enough religious folks carrying tabernacles who would burn me at the stake for the information given, but what the hell...I can die however I choose!
No one person can tell you what makes you happy or provide it for you so long as you yourself don't know. All I can tell you is that the majority of the population responds to certain things exactly the same. When they haven't it was always due to either psychological interference and/or medical. Girls know this if they have ever liked performing fellatio on men. You will come across the one sucker that no matter how hard you chew or how gentle you suck and lick they really just don't respond. They are physically desensitized. Out of all the lucky men who have had the pleasure of that treat from me there have been three who had difficulty, though I was still able to make them reach orgasm after several attempts and keeping my own head cool. Afterwards I would have a session with them to discuss the lack of feeling and to problem solve as to it being due to injury, birth defect or disease. Diabetes is a big culprit with older males and overweight males. Medication like anti-inflammatory can quell sexual response in males too. The purpose is to get heated and "inflamed" and engorged and such and you over medicate to the point of flacidity. Injury from sports and combative bouts would be the next greatest deal to interfere and old age as well. But there are a very select few men who are genetically born to be wired differently in that the glans feels nothing at all. It is a shame and I never would have thought to meet one, but have recently and feel nothing but sadness. For them they truly know NOT what they are losing out on and have coped by ignorance and indifference. So they feel to recognize there is a problem until some smarmy sex kitten with a big ass tells them. Good thing is there are ways to "rewire" them just like you would any other nerve-disorder. Either way all of these issues, stave diabetes and old age are correctable if one wants to pursue that objective.
You have to want to love you. Just as if you were on a date and things either did or didn't click and there are days where I just plain don't feel up to loving me! Even weeks go by and then I can't keep my hands off of me...The key is your comfortability. Start small, with caresses and such. Whispered words in the form of role play works wonders for the mood when one is lacking of one. I like to say the things I hear so often from "them" when I am touching and imagining their actions as if I had a second "player" in the room with me. I call myself names and coo myself and let myself know what I want and think in "their" voice in my head and put myself in a scenario. I touch and it is rhythmic with the action playing out in my mind. Sometimes there are toys and other times none at all, and even different times when there has been more than one toy and I was a very naughty date alone. But I know my body and what I like and when the situation arises where I have a lazy lover or selfish lover, I can get my own self where I need to be in as short a time as it takes the fucker to go fart or take a piss! (been there, done that, used the t-shirt to wax my car!)
I look at self gratification the same way I do cooking. I love getting my hands dirty and the smells of what I am dealing with and the difference in textures in the things that I touch. I even like to play within my pain thresholds and stretch those parameters every chance I get. Cooking is similar when done from scratch and if you eat from a box out of the microwave, chances are you treat sex and gratification the same way, too damn fast! Take your time. Don't watch the clock and set aside time for yourself in the shower or your bed or the couch when you're home alone. It's your house, do what you gotta do.
I know you were expecting graphic play by play of how to masterbate. Let's be realistic, how I do it is not the same way as your wives or yourselves or your friends. We all like certain positions and music and lighting. We all like different things so it serves no purpose to get into that much detail other than to arouse the hell out of everyone (which isn't a bad idea really if only we could get everyone simultaneously to read this and get aroused and stop fighting and warring and arguing with one another!) and then you wouldn't have been able to make it through the education. There is education in permission and you need to grant YOURself that, not me...I'm just cheering go for it!~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves.
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