there's bound to be a smirk or two. No matter how hard you try to conceal the embarrassment there will just be no way feasible. It was a completely innocuous conversation, and for once and never too often, I was the butt of the joke!
You see, I have been doing a lot of scrambling and shopping and planning as the days get fewer and fewer in the countdown. And on this particular day the conversation brought us back to a couple of days ago when Lobo, innocently enough, had approached me in Target with one of those hand-held critter-looking massaging vibrators. She was suggesting it as a good gift for her uncle Jason and was even "selling it" to me on the colors it came in and such. Wise old momma that I am was keen to her attempts to offer a gift for someone else in the hopes the stuffy toy in the other hand would make a lovely companion purchase and even offered several of those to cover the other children in the home along with her... None of the usual "What am I, made outta money?" exclamations had escaped my lips as I ignored her and continued in my journey with my sister-in-law to do what we were doing. Now pan forward a bit through time to Walmart today and walking up and down the aisles, when all of a sudden Keely(sister-in-law)shouts to me over the roar of shoppers "Did you buy that vibrator thing you were looking at the other day?" The fat chick was at a loss for words as several people started staring and the "purchasee" of the personal appliance that sounded so "personal" and the most she could muster as a response was to blush and throw Keely under the bus and shout even louder "No, but did you buy one of those Trojan vibrators I saw on tv for you and Jay?" Remarkably, no one turned their heads as they saw through my "save" and had already decided I was making it up to take the heat off of myself and ease my embarrassment.
All in all would have been cool had not some average "Joe" look back and smile and wink. Not one to be scared whether humiliated publicly or not, I proceeded with my shopping chuckling along with Keely and the two girls and we happened to come across the same "Joe" who chuckled and remarked "sounds like it's gonna be a good night!" The grin on his face was priceless as was the none-to-subtle shade of crimson on my face. He was a pretty decent guy as I surely can think of other more colorful remarks to be had. He went easy on me, but the fact he considered my visible disdain an outlet for his amusement rather turned me on!(not many people have that kind of spine!) Of course, the lady in my old age wouldn't allow me to tell him that but the chuckle still lingers and is the one good/funny things that happened to me today. Just me and Lobo and Keely and her Cheyenne and all the holiday shoppers and the jokes and such.
Note: I DID NOT BUY THE DAMN THING! Though now I think I should secretly and wrap it up for Keely! Maybe even get and extra one for myself and make my daughter use it on momma's feet and legs when she does the therapeutic massage for my edema! It was funny! I can take a joke as well as the rest and have been the butt of some of my own as well as others. My only issue with it was that it was something I should have said myself on both counts. So hats off to "Mr. Joe" for not missing a beat or a fine opportunity, and to Keely, for perfect timing and my evil lil Lobo for her damn suggestion that started it all.}Disclaimer:no animals were hurt in the making of this literary "Kodak" moment! LMAO{
~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves!
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