changes occur all around us whether we choose to take notice or not. I have seen my own child grow into a fine young lady and witnessed my family change back and forth from beastly burden to strong sweet oxen. Life is full of it and coping is how we mow through it.
Imagine a world to which you go to sleep one day and wake up to find the pen you are using touches the paper and writes but the ink sets on fire miraculously then disappears without a trace. The car you put the keys in to start up immediately starts spurting a double mocha latte out its ass pipe. It's never enough that it looks like a car but now your whole set of rules has completely changed. Now imagine you are the only one who's ink is fire and who's car is an over sized cappuccino machine! For Lobo and I that is our life. We look human enough and smell human enough, even when we are doing our business, but internally we are as foreign as a wallaby in Alaska and as alien as Area 51. Our rules changed this past year. For me it was January 25th, the day before her fourteenth and for her it was in June as we have separate insurance. The battle to be accepted and understood is a melee of sorts and painful and long. I haven't been believed and accepted for thirty-nine years and this hasn't changed a thing. My parents were in denial and siblings too and people I discuss the matter of my EPP with also are of the mind set where they will be polite but snicker behind my back. Change scares people. This scared them and it brought me peace. Old people are willing to die rather than believe their doctors medicine and I don't quite blame them but not all medicine is bad or wrong. Science is a practice just like law in that we evolve and find new avenues of treatment for ills of the mind and body as well as ills of discipline. It won't be easy for Lobo and I see that now. Her father refuses to accept this and he has had a whole year, in about a few short weeks, and six months as well regarding his child. It was cute and funny when it was just me but now I am being persecuted by him and his kin for using and abusing my child for attention. Trust me when I say this, the diagnosis is a HUGE relief to have one but by no means is it pleasing to wake up to find the world was not created in your favor. I should have been born in a cave and be roaming the hillsides naked in my hunt for a mate and food and shelter but was born unto man in his image though I am an animal my medical standards. It is even worse for my sweet child.
Lobo cannot go out swimming or hiking or to a parade or amusement park along with the rest of the kids. She gets to be imprisoned unjustly for merely being my child, no offence needed, she was born. It pains her mentally and hardens her and I understand it is no easy feat for her to bear witness to her mother's demise as well as realise she will have a very long and lonely life, and one without me at that. Her other main parental unit should be studying and researching all he can to alleviate and make accommodations for her so as to make her fit in somewhat and feel love and acceptance. Instead he mocks her publicly when he cut his finger while shopping, teasing her and trying to force her into humiliation by making her suck his finger. Even to the extent of morbid embarrassment, and if you think the courts and judges and police officers give a damn, try again. They care a great deal less, as to them I am a dog, an animal and her "human" parent matters more to their world than she or I ever will. His new girlfriend placed a Christian cross in the house and LoboLobo will learn and will have no one when I am gone who will understand and accept her. I am accused of all sorts of things I haven't the time to entertain and the general population just doesn't get this and wants to remain intolerant like a crotchety old fool who refuses to accept the statins from their doctor to bring their cholesterol down. They and her family are in denial.
Lobo's father wants her doctor to tell him specifically that she is inhuman and is sick. He has the paperwork available to him but he feels the need to be high and mighty and expect her(the doc)to take time out of her busy schedule to sit and talk to him so he can insult her too. I hope in the new year she will have acceptance and we will have found other members of our kin who will help her through the tough times, I don't think it will happen but I still remain open to it...for now I just try to keep her happy and afford her the little bit of normalcy we can give and pray she is proud enough to not conform to a structure not designed for her and grow wise and tolerant through her changes. This mom fears for her and our kind and is at her wit's end!~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves
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