for the better part of 39 years this upcoming Wednesday I have known who I was and where I was going even if I didn't know whom with and why I was headed there. Most of the people have known me and accepted me as I am whether under the snicker of trite harassment or acceptance forthright. But now...it has come to my attention that not only am I perceived to be a terrorist, but a stealthy one and at large!
I don't know when all this happened or who is directly responsible, but after carrying a United States, state issued, legal form of picture ID, I have been informed that they no longer are sure of who I am and need further proof to keep me on their grid, or watch list, as I might be smuggling two Christmas hams in my britches along with the watermelons I took last summer and stowed in my fucking bra! My birthday is due up and so is my driver's license and my registration for my car, and having moved on top of that I proceeded to the Tax Collector's office to take care of these issues. I was informed of my new-found "status" and was appalled that they could pull this shit when there are so many children needing shoes and food and adults needing medicine(mine was just jacked up to twice the cost from 2 months ago)and cannot fathom the enormity of snagging every US citizen and denying me/them my/their UNALIENABLE rights and the ability to pursue employment and drive a car or enter an adult establishment like a cigar bar because they refuse to renew my documentation on the grounds that a 5'4" fat-assed, loud-mouthed, red-headed heathen, so pasty white you need sunglasses to speak with her could be racially profiled for terrorist organizations!! Somewhere someone must have figured out the secret hidden truth to my blog and that it is to flood the eye-ways with Arabic and Muslim promotional propaganda to brain wash the youth and take over the world and force feed everyone until they become fatter and uglier than myself!(sorry Slim Fast and Jenny Craig....I had the idea first so kiss my shiny white ass!)
I not only have one week to bring them my marriage certificate, birth certificate, old ID, social security card and 2bills/mail as proof of residency change(I wasn't supposed to do that either without a note from the fucking Pope!), to the nearest office and act like this is cool, but they had the audacity to "offer" me to pay them another $6 on top of the doubled price, effective January this past year, to get an extension for 30days to produce said documents to which the authorities will charge me my first born to retrieve! I'm waiting for them to tell me I need a valid driver's license to get them when mine is no longer proof because "they're not sure" though I have a federal claim for disability to which may be compromised by my nefarious terrorist association and lack of proper identification. It used to cost under forty bucks to register my car and ten to renew my license and it is now almost forty to renew license and eighty to renew the tag for the car. And I will achieve this little star on my license to signify: "Yup, she's legit!" status and maybe not be harassed any longer by the "Big Brother" watching over me because I bought some Na'an bread and lebne at the Mediterranean store for an Eastern meal. Pretty soon they will want my bra size and mother's great grandmother's maiden name and the date to which the dearly aforementioned deceased lost her virginity as proof I am who I am! This is sheer madness and time and paper/net wasted when my taxes and resources should be spent on organ transplants for the needy. For those that don't know they removed 100 people off a donor list in a state out west to cut costs, one just seconds after prepping for surgery, because they were too poor to pay for them and the government felt it was cheaper to let them die, their crime was poverty and the prisons here and everywhere else are full of death row inmates I pay to feed and dress and provide medicine for. A few of my friends want to sneak back into Cuba because they think it is sickening the way my country will bend back asswards over for illegals here and treat prisoners in jails who are denizens to society better than walking/talking tax paying citizens. Social medicine is a dirty word like "taxes for the rich," but our own government officials and military personnel have been on socialized medicine since the beginning of time!
It isn't fair! It never will be and this is tantamount to harassment of the worse kind. So...if anyone knows a guy who knows a guy that I may have slept with on a drunken binge some years back who can verify I'm a flag waving son of a bitch with blue blood in my veins, lemme know! May the gods forbid they ever find out my medical status as an evolved species or I will be sprayed, poked, prodded and whisked off to some secret military encampment whilst they use my magical powers of turning 10$ of groceries into a meal for 4 and my sharp tongue into a death ray to kill all infidels!~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves...and may the government kiss my ass at daylight when I lie down on my stomach, ass up, to sleep the sleep of a demonic possessed wamphyri/terrorist!
No comments:
Post a Comment