if I loved too much it was never enough. If I left too soon it was never soon enough. I loved and left and not sure if it was at the right time or at the right moment but I did it. Who wants to go shopping?
Yes, dear friends, tomorrow is another day and it will be cold with some mild in-sea precipitation of the foggy misty kind. Might even be a little overcast as I seem to notice a parallel to my moods and how they affect others like the phases of the moon. When I am not well, all is well with the ones I love. When I am happy and reeling then most assuredly my loved one either ail or go without! Catch 22 isn't the word for it! I want to be happy but don't know if it is in the cards. Not if it is at a loss to another. And some of the people who are made unhappy at my happiest moments actually deserve the dish they eat cold on those days. Hey-I love family but there are times when I see that they have an ass whooping or two coming. I'm curious about the tidal effect my recent breakup will have on my brother and his lovely girlfriend. I wonder most days at what in the hell I could have done to deserve the punishments I get. What kind of asshole was I in a previous life? Who did I hurt and why would I have done so? There are constants you carry with you and I am sure my strength be one of them as well as my impeccable taste and memory and thirst for knowledge. Did I step on someones toes? Was I a diva or spoiled brat?
When I wake up I will put one foot down and then the other like the rest of you. I will probably not grab a cup of coffee as I don't drink it everyday, but I will grab a bite and spend time with the little family members and plan the days deeds and tasks. I will have a need to venture out to get supplies for the big holiday dinner this weekend. Cookie making and bread making and pie making seem to be in order the next couple of days. There will be short sad periods in the day when I will miss someone and miss the attention I had from them. I know this feeling and it is comforting and seems to be my one constant in life besides the my disdain for humans. Maybe the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. At least I still have some things to look forward to, just not whole-heartedly! Maybe even might find a new target for my affinity in morose humor! Nothing like a discount department store or the grocery carts full of screaming kids to bring life's little intricacies to the surface! Mobe will be here tomorrow and the next day whether she is happy or not. Mobe will be here even if she is raging and alone for the rest of her life...she has a purpose in this. If one person chuckles, or nods in understanding then Mobe will continue to be here!~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves
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