communication is integral in any relationship whether it be passionate or business or familial or social. We weren't born mind readers, most of us anyways, and despite that fact I hear on a continual basis how so-and-so was supposed to know, without prior knowledge, what so-and-so's significant other was supposed to want, think, feel.
We want to help the one's we love but never have all the tools necessary. Sometimes even, we find that even if we have the tools it doesn't always mean they are capable or in proper shape either physically or mentally to be able to know what to do with the tools. Try and try again we beat a dead horse only to feel inadequate and later fall or fail by the wayside. If I had a nickel for every time I have heard myself or someone else say "If you loved me you would know what I want" or "You should know if you paid enough attention," but through the years I have come to realise that if I don't ask for it I am guaranteed not to get it. If I do ask for it I got a fifty-fifty shot which is better than none at all. It isn't an ideal world or situation but one to which I have grown accustomed to. Even for those so "lucky" to have an internal hall monitor it isn't always working. I am good at guessing what a person needs and should have or be doing. People are good at neglecting themselves and the end result leaves a bad "morning after" taste to which no mouthwash can expel.
I am guilty of this. But I am also guilty of being blatantly honest and never having a problem conveying my needs or wants. And, I rarely ever still get them met unless it is my own sleeves rolled up and I push through the nay-sayers and idiots who would impede my efforts. Grandma said the squeaky wheel gets the grease and she failed to include that the fucker greasing your ass can also light it on fire and laugh to sidesplitting humor as you sit and burn to a coal lump! I watched tonight this very situation between two people I dearly love. One a family member and the other an "adopted" family member and saw the pain and torment it came to when the weaker of the two had to face their demons of insecurity and inadequacy over and over in the eyes of their tormentor. The aggressor themselves was not without fault, and sitting on the outside looking in I was pulled and sucked in the vortex of the situation trying to bring both donkeys to the "lake of sight" to get them to drink. Hahaha....jokes on me as we all know the real ass was the meddling and kind-hearted idiot who sees only black and white. Nothing would assuage the hurt and accusations, but in some way I do feel I made a difference. I very well may have created more turmoil in the end but I also gave the "bully" some food for thought and the "whipping goat" a spine and hope. Love does stupid things to sane people and even crazier shit to you when you're in it. And the love of a sister will either wake a man up or shut him down and make a sister in law's spine stronger or give her wings to leave and free herself. I hope today a man went to bed and will wake up secure and content and a loving husband and his women will think on it and find the words to say what she feels and stand her ground and continue to stick it out because for all that big dog's bite...he's a great guy, he just hurts like the rest of us and feels vulnerable and feels "unmanly" when he does which makes him a big green mean machine with his mouth...love yourself enough to take a "hit" for what you believe, love yourself a little more by only allowing one "hit" that you didn't ask for, love yourself even more by walking away and love your choices by finding the beauty in the cesspool of life. I have a stronger sister and a more softer brother today and they may not recognize my love and merely see it as meddling trouble...but I did what I had to out of love, for them and our children and myself~mobe's love to her all and her all to her loves
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